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The Amish Buggy
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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The Amish Buggy |
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Ted Reynolds Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331 |
THE AMISH BUGGY We're going to be late and so we push a little harder and we're dashing down the road at over eighty miles an hour and our tires screech on the curves as the air booms past the windows and we swing around the bend and brake and Damn! there's a black flat-topped box like a coffin in the way and it's pulled very slowly by an old black nag and the driver is in black and the woman is in black and the kids are in black and they look straight ahead as we cautiously edge past them and then push down on the pedal and dash on to leave them plodding far behind us in the dust and hurry off to where we're going where we'll probably be late for getting everything we want although we don't know what it is, but it is possible that maybe we just missed it. [This message has been edited by Ted Reynolds (edited 03-28-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Ted Reynolds - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Ted: I really enjoyed this poem and its message. I'm pretty sure that I won't be giving up electricity anytime soon but I'm not confusing the disdain Amish have for technology with your message. I can't count the number of times I've been stuck behind an Amish buggy in a no-passing zone on my way to work (I do live in Lancaster, PA, after all) and I recall having many of the same thoughts you express in your poem. Your format compliments the fast then slow then fast again movement of the car and the last line, as it is written, has a good bit of impact for me. Strong work, Ted. Thanks for the read. Jim |
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tom Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 90s/w penna u.s.a. |
Ted Cool format,I found myself gettin anise in the middle,also good message. tom |
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SuZi New Member
since 2000-03-25
Posts 8Louisville, KY |
Loved the imagery. I can feel the slowing down and edging by and the speeding on. It all works so well together. Great  SuZi |
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captaincargo Member
since 1999-11-25
Posts 109Corning, N.Y. U.S.A. |
This was simply the coolest thing I've read in awhile.(no foolin) What else can I say but, I loved it! The slow fast format was the kicker. Especially the last line when you slowed it "back down" to 33 1/3 one more time. Thanks. Cap. Cap. Carg. |
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Ted Reynolds Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331 |
Thank you all. I'm jumping up and down (invisibly, I'm at work) and shouting (inaudibly) "It worked, it worked!" I've never been able to write good free verse, I need *some* kind of structure; but it occurred to me that it doesn't have to be a *constant* metre, and the idea of a metre that shifts with the nature of the content excites me. I'll be posting another such (but of a quite different nature) later today. After I've seen what the rest of you are doing. [This message has been edited by Ted Reynolds (edited 03-31-2000).] |
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whipsnade Junior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 40 |
Very Nice I like the tight economy of phrase and thought with which you put me in the driver's seat and in his mind with the closing wistful observation. "Write On" Ricardo |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
good work---i can actually find myself speed-reading and then slowing to read cautiously and then speed-reading again while reading your work...i believe this is actually the first time i find myself getting excited and then calming down WITHIN THE SAME POEM ")BTW,what's an Amish Buggy?do educate me a little |
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