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Batter's box
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Batter's box |
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patchoulipumpkin Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 196Bermuda |
The paint is broken up now No longer sharp lines, Stroked in white As the wall remembered it Balls beat it senseless KO After KO All from the arm of a future Baseball Hall of famer Faced up against A future home run leader The pitcher threw as if he were surrounded By thousands Cheering “Put it in the box” The batter didn’t see What the pitcher saw The square outline An imaginary hoop He jumped through For a strike The batter only felt it The void behind him An open wound He had to protect With a swing Bang, Bang, Pop The tennis ball Was beaten against The wall Until it died And we could find a new one Today The lines are still alive Vaguely visible Behind Time And its many acts of Heroism If spoken to They will reveal Full count bottom of the ninth Bases loaded Down by one run Scenarios And the descriptions of balls Flying off In front of the sun Lost temporarily Before they are seen again Landing on the tops of cars And while the lines look Eroded Weathered Scuffed up And stained by graffiti A voice screams “Strike two you moron” And I realize their magic Their secrets Are not as far away As the paint suggests [This message has been edited by patchoulipumpkin (edited 02-29-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 patchoulipumpkin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Marc: This is very good. If I didn't know better I would be thinking that you grew up in my neighborhood. I recently moved back to my home town and noticed that my old baseball lot is fenced in and barb-wired. It's amazing so much can change in 20 years. Your poem took me back to common experiences that I hadn't thought about in years. I suppose that is the purpose of poems like this one. I must say that this one served its purpose well. Small typo on "Strike" in the last stanza, btw. Nice work. Jim |
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