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An Answer to "Just Wondering" by warmhrt
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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An Answer to "Just Wondering" by warmhrt |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash 
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A question has been aptly posed Why men re often predisposed To lust and long for bigger, better cars. What causes them to stop and stare When cars that are in disrepair Are reconditioned in a body shop? Men tend to be quite arbitrary: What is nice and what is scary? This leads me to some fundamental truths: Small and sporty’s really cool (the hidden headlights make me drool), with or without a bra is fine with me. Big and classic works well too When polished up to look brand new, but dour owners tend to say, “Look but please don’t touch.” Some like them big and others small (But I must say I love them all, a hapless victim of Crown Victoria’s secret). On the other hand, you know, some cars are just not meant for show (these do not tend to Draw a second glance). So ladies give your guys a break When they steal a double-take at those cars with sleek and sexy lines. This behavior can’t be helped, It’s reinforced from the time we’re whelped, So who is truly left to take the blame? “Women” is the only answer, Their actions caused this rampant cancer For which there’ll never be relief or cure. But ladies, you’ll survive your guilt; Your men are proud and strongly built And will survive their love of perfect cars. < !signature--> Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther [This message has been edited by jbouder (edited 10-25-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jim Bouder - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Hey Jim, I really like it and this seems like an appropriate response. (Pete wonders if he really does think we were talking about cars  )But since this is critical analysis, i must point out what appears to be a typo in your next to last stanza so Trevor won't get after me. "So ladies give you guys a break when they Steal a double-take at those cars with sleek And sexy lines." It looks like "you" in the first line should be your. Well, keep up the great work and maintain "our side" in this thing. Pete What terms shall I find sufficiently simple in their sublimity -- sufficiently sublime in their simplicity -- for the mere enunciation of my theme? Edgar Allan Poe |
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captaincargo Member
since 1999-11-25
Posts 109Corning, N.Y. U.S.A. |
ROTF!!  The only thing wrong is I think you meant to say "Your" instead of "you" in the line: "So ladies give you guys a break when they". Yes? Good response. I was thinking along the lines of. "If you put dual carbs above the hood, we'll look them over well and good. For if a car's put on display We'll gaze at them from June till May. And if I'm called a big galoot You think I really give a Hoot? So ask me not what makes me stare I stop I look, cuz they are there. Cap Cap. Carg. |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Jim, Let's take a look at this "ode" to "cars". "A question has been aptly posed why men Are often predisposed to lust and long For bigger, better cars. What causes them to stop and stare when cars That are in disrepair are reconditioned in A body shop? Men tend to be quite arbitrary: What is nice And what is scary? This leads me to some Fundamental truths:" Firstly, I'm afraid you are mistaken. The question was, "Just why do men like them so much, whether compacts or large pick-ups"... the basic reason is where the query lies. Now, plastic bumpers...I don't know. It just doesn't seem like original car material. Now you will tell us the basics. "Small and sporty’s really cool (the hidden Headlights make me drool), with or without A bra is fine with me. Big and classic works well too when polished up To look brand new, but dour owners tend To say, “Look but please don’t touch.” Some like them big and others small (but I Must say I love them all, a hapless victim Of Crown Victoria’s secret)." If I've got this right, you are saying you like any cars, any size, even without the protection a bra could provide from the exposure to chaps and grabble. What was Crown Victoria's secret? It's low lines...and a sun roof? "On the other hand, you know, some cars are Just not meant for show (these do not tend to Draw a second glance). So ladies give you guys a break when they Steal a double-take at those cars with sleek And sexy lines. This behavior can’t be helped, it’s reinforced From the time we’re whelped, so who is truly Left to take the blame?" Now, you are contradicting yourself, Jimbo, and saying there are some that you don't like and wouldn't give a second glance. Then you also say that they must have a certain look, and of course, this tendency is becuse your mothers took away your favorite car seat with that cushioned upholstery too soon. Teeny-tiny typo...."your" “Women” is the only answer, their actions Caused this rampant cancer for which there’ll Never be relief or cure. But ladies, you’ll survive your guilt; your men Are proud and strongly built and will survive Their love of perfect cars." Again, we women bare the blame, this is how it is and how it will be...you say, and we should feel guilty because our men look at other's "perfect" cars, and seem to forget what they're driving. Well, Jim, it was a very good poem, but I still do not have a real answer to my original question. You put a finger on it here (wipe off the fingerprints, though, that one's just been buffed, and it belongs to one of those dour owners). We just need a bigger, better answer. Good try.Kris [This message has been edited by warmhrt (edited 02-26-2000).] |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
The Cave Woman Hypothesis Jim's circular argument finds some support right here. This is the sort of firm, stand up position to which I can cleave. Age comes in two it cup (sorry "up") to a point, but his b a si c premise is underpinned and lifted to a peak where even Peter Pan, let alone Hook and I, might be strapped to disagree. Lets not take a nip, pull or otherwise teater on the edge of indecision, but cling or clamp hard to one or the other - either the hillock of agreement or the valley of dissent. Choose to orb bit either Jim or Kris .. then milk the points they make ... don't duplicate. Pin the metal badge (brass I ‘ere) of your conviction to your proud chest, despite tired dark rings cry in awe - "ole`", and then go home and make a clean breast of things in the shower ....... |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
You guys kill me. Pete: Someone has to fight the good fight against oppressive stereotypes and proclaim "our side" loud and clear like a car's hooter ... er ... horn. Cap: LOL on the duel carbs. Masculists (the opposite of Feminists) unite!!! Kris: Don't you know that the first rule of propaganda is to avoid the question? Also, while plastic bumpers are not as true to the original car material as far as function is concerned, they do wonders for a car's appearance. Contradiction is also the prerogative of the shallow, btw. Philip: *Jim wipes the tears from his eyes* That was beautiful, man. Thanks for reading, everyone. Jim |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Well Philip and Jim, I am literally ROTFLMAO now. I just got back from the Kruse car auction (didn't buy a thing) but there was a lot of stuff there made me think of you guys. Either of you remember the '58 Buick or Oldsmobile or the 59 Cadillac? FYI Philip, if you haven't seen them, they had some rather pronounced protuberances not unrelated to this soft subject. Well keep up the good work as long as possible. Pete What terms shall I find sufficiently simple in their sublimity -- sufficiently sublime in their simplicity -- for the mere enunciation of my theme? Edgar Allan Poe |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
For Mia and Kid D. Hope you enjoy (and Mia, this may answer your question on what men think of your new car). Jim |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
i love you people jim, this is great...but (and i hate to actually *critique* such a masterpiece as this) do you really need to say bra? much much too blatant. why not try safety belt?  luv Elyse |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Mon Chere Elyse, I assume you didn't know. A bra is that sometimes leather but more often vinyl thing you sometimes see covering the front of a car. This is most often seen on a porsche or occasional BMW. It is actually there to protect the fine finish from gravel chips as these cars are often quite low-slung and susceptible to chipping. Since they also have rather expensive finishes, it can be excessively expensive to repair such blemishes. Bras are even sometimes found on lesser models, such as Miatas or even Corollas for some reason. Probably just so their owners can feel like the "big boys" or something. So, I must submit that "seat belts" would just not be a suitable substitute for bras in this context.  Luv ya, Pete |
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YeshuJah Malikk Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 263 |
Jim, I like this. Though I stumbled over the lines in several places. An example: 'So ladies give you guys a break when they Steal a double-take at those cars with sleek And sexy lines.' I'd have written: So ladies give your guys a break when they steal a double-take, at cars with sleek and sexy lines. Tell me the reading isn't eaiser? 'Those' throws the flow out of sync. There are a few more throughout the poem. Otherwise I simply love the concept here! Pretty cool, pretty cool. |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Elyse: Glad you liked it and I even forgive your lack of car-accessory knowledge. Pete: How did I know this one would wake you back up? Good "seeing" you again. Been a while. Oh ... and I envy your knowledge of bras. YeshuJah: Hmmmm ... I edited the thing before bumping it back to the top ... on my screen it looks the way you suggested. Because I was aiming at light-heartedness, I paid less attention to the meter. Perhaps I'll come back to this one and give it a little cosmetic surgery. Later, all. Jim |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Damn i meant to bounce this to the top with the other one, something restrained me; sorry 'bout that jim .. hi ya pete .. nice to see you in action again |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
jbouder, This was definitely a very clever reply, yet, like the typical male, you ran all around the question. I agree with the person named Kris 100%! Thanks for bringing this up. It was hilarious, and as I said previously, very clever. A fun bunch you all seem to be...a sense of humor is one of the best traits anyone can have. Looks like you've got a good one, jbouder. mia |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Yes Jim, I do pride myself on knowledge of automotive equipment and accessories, including bras, headlights and even rear ends. It is a subject I have studied with gusto since my early teen years, or maybe even sooner Pete |
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