»
Archives
»
Critical Analysis #1
»
How Would You Describe?
| Critical Analysis #1 |
|
How Would You Describe? |
|
|
Lil OnE Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 234Pasco County. Fl. |
What are ears without sound? What are eyes that aren't equipped to see? What is a body incapable of movement? It is all equal to A masterpiece performed by an acclaimed symphony with no audience to hear and enjoy. The beauty of a rainbow after a cool morning shower with no eyes to behold the beauty and wonder. The tragedy of a still-born baby never to have the opportunity to live, to move, to be free. I would call it unfair, no matter how insignificant my opinion may be. So then, how do you suppose I could describe the sound of water rushing over mountains and rocks to the man who has never heard his own voice? And how would I describe the wind whipping in my face as I run in a thrilling race to the woman who has been paralyzed since birth? Would there be any consequential purpose in describing the sea-side sunset to the man who has never seen his own face? Should I try to describe the depth of beauty which he cannot even begin to grasp? What significance is there in these things? Would they not be in vain? So, tell me, where is the significance in people trying to describe to me true love, true happiness, or pure joy, when I know full well that they don't exist? You don't know me, but you don't like me. You say you could care less how I feel. But how many of you who sit and judge me have ever walked the streets in my shoes?-Korn ~Lil OnE~ |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Christine L. Kelly - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Wordshaman Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 110Illinois, USA |
Okay...let's zip this one up to the top, and I'll respond to it tomorrow when I feel more capable of it. You are not forgotten for now, though, Lil One. I merely just spent the best moments of my day in terms of critique with faith. See you later. Wordshaman |
||
|
roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
i like the ending of this poem. i like it a lot. i don't think that the beginning really goes with it though. for one part, you talk about sound without hearing.. sort of a "if a tree falls..." type thing. that would work okay i think if you went on with how some things go hand in hand, but you go on with what the meaning of these things are to people which can't understand them. two good themes, but not the same thing. i love the end though. realism is very good. hope to see some more of your poetry soon. |
||
|
Lil OnE Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 234Pasco County. Fl. |
Thank you both for your replies. I know that the two themes don't exactly fit together, but it came out that way, and I decided that it was best that I went with the way I felt, so thats what I did. But I really like this one (which is unusual for me) so I decided to post it here. I usually post in 'dark passions' but I went for something new here. Thanks, again!! You don't know me, but you don't like me. You say you could care less how I feel. But how many of you who sit and judge me have ever walked the streets in my shoes?-Korn ~Lil OnE~ |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
