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Critical Analysis #1
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The Return of Count Matio Nico Manzia
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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The Return of Count Matio Nico Manzia |
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Trevor Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 700Canada |
When the people cry, his people, melodramatically, beneath the thumbs of injustice and the stereotype of the banditos, Count Matio Nico Manzia, dons his soft fluffy light blue cape, mother’s gardening hat and stands fast in a pose perfected only by a true champion. One last eye-brow raise, a warm up spoon parry and then an eloquent horse mount. Always the same, the elderly village women, garbed in black, weep uncontrollably in the town square while the incompetent, overweight mayor begs for the rescue of his daughter from Colonel Hector Mena (permanently scarred below his left eye from a spoon’s delicate warning). The Count agrees of course, being the champion he is, (and the fact that he secretly loves the mayor’s daughter), and says in a calm heroic tone, that sounds more Scottish then Spanish, “I will rescue your daughter, again, but it must wait till after school tomorrow, for it is now my bedtime.” [This message has been edited by Trevor (edited 02-01-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Trevor Davis - All Rights Reserved | |||
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Trevor, This is just precious! A vivid picture of the imaginative abilities of a young mind. Well done, sir. Kristine "We of the craft are all crazy..." Lord Byron |
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Ted Reynolds Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331 |
This is beautifully done. In fact, I will echo Kristine's words "most precious." There are a couple of points where I think you get too far out of "our hero's" mind, and therefore weaken it a bit for me, such as "stereotype" in line 5. (Lines 9, 22, 24.) If you don't see what I mean, forget it; it may be just me. Anyway, this was a lot of fun, and took me by surprise. |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Trevor: Brought back some long lost memories with this one. Except I was Quicksilver, the Fastest Man Alive and my cape was a small, gray blanket.  I liked the "stereotype" reference. Stereotypes were helpful in painting vivid pictures quickly and with broad brush-strokes. Your descriptions did this for me quite well. But did you really use a spoon? You couldn't find the perfect stick under some tree somewhere (you know the one ... curved slightly, 2-1/2' long that makes a *whoof* sound when you swing it). Thanks for the good memories. Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Trevor Trailing Jim's coat-tails as usual  . I just don't know how to make clever technical comments about free verse (or any verse for that matter ..lol) but all I can say is that without exception I've enjoyed your poems because they always display a quirkiness of mind or a "twist" of some kind. I also guess it must be quite good poetry because the "poetry" never seems to interfere with my enjoyment of the story or message. That was the case here. So engrossed was I that I was quite convinced right the way through until the penultimate line that this was some kind of aristocratic desperado. The "spoon" had me momentarily puzzled but i soon rationalized that as some kind of continental rapier. Then the Scottish baffled me, but i reckoned a bit of mixed race might fix that .. so there we go right up to the final couplet I rode ... and then burst out laughing .. Funny stuff Trevor .... an antidote to your previous post par excellence Philip |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Well, I guess I am forever doomed to follow those other guys. It also seems that they already said everything I should have said. I, like Philip, was a little puzzled or misled early on, until I got to about "the spoon" part. Then it finally started to sound like a child's play. But it wasn't until the close that I was sure. Well, that meant I had to read it again. It all (mostly) came clear that time. Thanks for bringing back a good memory, if only for a short time. Philip's right, your poetry does often seem to have a certain quirkiness or irony about it. I think that's good. Pete What terms shall I find sufficiently simple in their sublimity -- sufficiently sublime in their simplicity -- for the mere enunciation of my theme? Edgar Allan Poe |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
Hmmm, only suggestion would be to change this: "When the people cry, his people, melodramatically," to this: When the people, his people, cry melodramatically, But please, Mr. Moderator, don't hurt me for I know you're all knowing and powerful (for you're not only a moderator, but a god. Yes, Trevorism hasn't faded into the dusts of history yet.). *grins* And who says this has to be about memories, huh? I think you guys should all go out tomorrow after work or school or whatever you do and play like you're a superhero. It makes life much more fun. But now Hulk go and beat bad men. It Hulk's job, and fun. (see what I mean? *grins*) Ryan I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. —Jack Kerouac |
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merely_a_jester Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 67Arkansas... that's all you get |
well, following behind all of the big wigs of this forum (your highness included  ), i have little to say that hasn't already been said...i liked it... i didn't get it until later... i still liked it... thank you for the memories (of course i didn't just stick to one hero... for there are a multitude of them out there and i was most of them at one time or the other...)... congrats... um... yeah, that's about it... i did like the spin that was put on this memory though imaginative... creative... just plain fun... (okay... i just like to write things that aren't in sentence form and put three little dots after them... is that so bad?) ... Aspiring to be Gods, if Angels fell, Aspiring to be Angels, Men rebel; Alexander Pope |
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jenni Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 478Washington D.C. |
"Count Matio Nico Manzia, dons his soft fluffy light blue cape, mother’s gardening hat and stands fast in a pose perfected only by a true champion..." lol, this a wonderful, precious piece, trevor, and soooo cute! thanks for sharing it with us. jenni |
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Trevor Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 700Canada |
Hello everyone, Thank you all who took the time to read and comment on this poem. Needed to write something a little light-hearted after my last post....kinda like a colonic for the mind TED: "There are a couple of points where I think you get too far out of "our hero's" mind, and therefore weaken it a bit for me, such as "stereotype" in line 5. (Lines 9, 22, 24.)" With those lines I was trying to capture the feeling of the child overacting what he saw in the overacted movies he watched, the movies that were his inspiration for the Count....the kinda movies I used to watch, where the scripts were all the same, the outcome the same, the characters the same, etc. The problem with poetry is that it's so difficult to capture words that not only represent the authors thoughts but can grab a reader and take him there with you. And after your comments I've been racking my brain to try and find a way to better portray this message to the reader, but alas, no such luck yet Maybe just expanding on it a bit, but I don't want to tell the reader too soon that it's just a child mimicking a movie hero. Thanks for your suggestion.JIM: Even though a branch or broken hockey stick made a better "swoosh!!", I still wasn't allowed to wield such a mighty sword inside the house....so a spoon or the cardboard center roll from Christmas wrap became my sword....that is when I wasn't saving a major Metropolis with my fists of fireballs or using my bionic legs to "stamp out" crime Thanks.RYAN; Thanks for the suggestion, it's a good one and I'll probably use something like that...PS beat a bad man for me HULK. Thanks. And thanks again to everyone else for your comments, take care, Trevor |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
Whoa, whoa, whoa there Trevor! What's this about me getting a semi-colon after my name and everyone else getting a full blown colon? Huh? I think the moderator here is against me! Hulk beat man who no respect Ryan. Hulk say Ryan deserve full colon. Trevor edit post, or Hulk EAT Trevor! *grins* (Ahh, the hardships of being a moderator, hehe). Ryan I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. —Jack Kerouac |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Trevor This was a fun poem.... having your sunny personality back reminded me of it. P |
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Tim Gouldthorp Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 170 |
Trevor, Consider 'and' between 'soft' and 'fluffy.' Seriously though, jousting with spoons is not something one should condone. Its all fun and games until someone has their eyeball scooped out.... -Tim |
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Trevor Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 700Canada |
Philip, Bringing up the dead are we? "This was a fun poem...." Well actually it was a metaphor for the starving nations that are abused by the very system that they support and a woman's right to have an abortion. You should know by now I don't write fun poetry  "having your sunny personality back reminded me of it." Okay first off, no more pints for you on the way home from work. Secondly thanks for the compliment. Tim: I agree with you about the "and" thing, it needs seperation there with an and or at least a comma. Maybe I'll change it to, "soft, fluffed" or "soft and fluffed" making it sound more like it is fresh from the dryer. Thanks for the input and BTW, "Seriously though, jousting with spoons is not something one should condone. Its all fun and games until someone has their eyeball scooped out...." ..was too funny. Thanks and take care, Trevor having your sunny personality back reminded me of it |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
quote: ~sigh~ yeah ... well naturally i could see the obvious, but i was trying to look deeper beyond the overt grim and depressing message, maybe I just tried too hard to see something playful in this hard hitting social and political commentary ........ another day then Trev, another pint or two .. eh? take care P |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Hi Sir T I really enjoyed your poem to me it flowed beautifully... Although I do agree with Ryan's suggestion for lines 10,11,and 12 " Mothers gardening hat" Actually told me this poem was going to be about a child indulging in some sort of fantasy..... But what? I found that out later as I kept reading. hehe the ending made me laugh, I loved the way you ended it and I could see that little boys expression as he told the Mayor he had to wait until tomorrow after school. A most enjoyable read Sir! Maree |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Well, now I'm truly disappointed. Refering back to my previous response to this poem, I really thought it was fun then, that is until I hear now that it's really political propaganda I can see that I will have to start reading your in a much more serious manner  Pete Never express yourself more clearly than you can think - Niels Bohr |
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mysticharm Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 189Canada |
hey trevor ...the superhero at his best lol this is so "cute", while I'm reading it I remember my brothers and I pinning towels around our necks and flying off the clothes lines stoop. ...and I didn't need a dictionary LOL debbie debbie Think of saying "I Love You" as always being overdue. Love is a gift, not an obligation. unknown |
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