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The Eastern Seaboard
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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The Eastern Seaboard |
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Ted Reynolds Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331 |
I'm afraid this is #31 of 14,000 Happy Poems I'm mostly posting in Open Forum, but I've realized some of them belong here instead. THE EASTERN SEABOARD Morning: The causeway stretching across the mouth of the Chesapeake like a taut string, the screech of the seagulls, the tang of salt in the nostrils, and no sign of land from horizon to horizon; (and we all arrived from out there) Noon: The sun-silvered masts of the sloops and ketches in the harbor at Darien pitching and tossing among the flashing whitecaps like flung jackstraws; (and this is where we try to take root) Night: the boom and surge of the invisible waves at our feet on the sand at Assateague, my hands on my daughters' shoulders that they might not be somehow swept away into the dark; (and to this we shall all return) But however many beloved days are swallowed up by the western dragon, the eastern ocean will always bear for us another sun. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Ted Reynolds - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Ted: If your other 13,999 Happy Poems are like this then I want to read them all. You describe the sensation of driving across the Chesapeake Bay Bridge/Tunnel very well. I crossed it last August when Hurricane Dennis was off the cost of the DelMarVa peninsula. The bridge itself is an inspiring work of engineering but seeing the man-made "string" crossing a sizable body of water during an impressive display of mother nature's power ... that was an experience that should have inspired a poem. The bridge does seem like a "taut string" at times (especially after the first tunnel). It really is quite small compared to the enormity of the mouth Chesapeake Bay. I get the impression that part of what you were trying to communicate in the first stanza is the relative smallness of the 17 mile bridge/tunnel when compared to the bay and the sense of wonder that accompanies one's first hand comparison. You may want to try to develop your communication of this wonder more in your first stanza. The second to last stanza is excellent (any parent who has taken their child(ren) to the beach knows the healthy fear that rests in the pit of your stomach when you feels the ocean's waves push and undertow tug at your child). The last stanza is also very well worded. Excellently done. Well done, Ted.< !signature--> Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther [This message has been edited by jbouder (edited 01-30-2000).] |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Ted, The imagery here is fantastic! A wonderfully crafted work. Kristine |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Ted Yes the imagery was good but not being familiar with the place in question meant that for me at least in this piece it did not dominate. In fact far from it. What caught and held my attention above all else were the phrases in parenthesis which seemed to cry out their importance firstly simple because they WERE in brackets, secondly because of their position terminating each stanza, thirdly because of the greatly contrasting language (ie contrasting with the scenic descriptions) and finally because they seemed to link in some manner with the final two lines of the poem. So I concentrated on trying to figure out what the poem was about, assuming that those parts described above held the key. I came to the conclusion that this was either about birth, life and death (Morning Noon Night) or about literally a family coming from the east, relocating to a maybe not so loved west (western dragon) and anticipating a joyous return (I liked the metaphor of the sun rising in the east). Whether you had in mind either of these or indeed neither !! It was a thought provoking read.. Thanks Philip |
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Ted Reynolds Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331 |
Jim-- You got the locale of the first stanza exactly right. That makes me feel great. Actually, I'll only be responsible for 7,000 Happy Things. It was a mutual challenge with a friend to do poems on themes from the "14,000 Things to be Happy About," and I've got the odd numbers. Will be posting another in this forum today. Kristine-- From you, such words feel good. I've felt that about some from you too. Philip-- Morning/Noon/Night was explicit. As I went along I realized I was also talking about Birth/LIfe/Death and Past/Present/Future. It wasn't about a specific family, though. I honed it finally to tie it to our country (well, it's mine anyway.) We came as immigrants, our present is lively and confusing, and we worry for our descendants. {But all of this came to me only while or after I was drafting the poem . . . my original plan was just three vignettes about three times/places I, a mid-Westerner, had touched on the Atlantic shoreboard.) By the way, is there any way to print out colons without their coming out seasick faces? |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Thanks for the clarification Ted ... its pretty much as i expected and certainly I had the possibility of immigrants at the forefront of my mind. You say it's not "about" a specific family, and that no doubt is true, but presumably the poem is shaped by your own life experience is it not? Thanks again for coming back on this Philip |
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Trevor Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 700Canada |
Hello, I thought this was a beautiful poem with excellent imagery and wording, I especially liked the lines in parenthesis. The only suggestions I have are, " the tang of salt in the nostrils"...nostrils seemed out of place, and, "But however many beloved days are swallowed up by the western dragon, the eastern ocean will always bear for us another sun."....I found this line to be out of place, word wise, not in meaning, in comparison to the rest of the poem. Anyways, enjoyed the poem, thanks and take care, Trevor |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
Well, I'm a little late in coming to this one and everyone else has already pretty much said anything that I might think up. But I still wanted to say how much I enjoyed this one. You captured the scene masterfully. I especially like the parenthetical sections. They provide a sort of bigger picture scene that adds to the poem as a whole. Ryan I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. —Jack Kerouac |
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