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Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

0 posted 2020-05-24 11:04 PM

Three lines
started over three times.
Why can't I just pour?
I hate dwelling so
in pain
and fear
but it made me
this,
simultaneously strong and weak.
Starting over
timelines blurred
while sorting through which parts of me
from the past
matter,
are worth saving
and which parts are not.
Is there any of me from then
that you need now?
I don't need to be convinced of your love
only reminded sometimes
of all the contents of it
that are stirred together.
For now I'll have to settle for a ghost
that I don't dare look in the eyes
lest it disappear when it sees
that I realize it's presence.
Eyes are down
praying
for the final rewrite.
Starting over.
I've lost count of how many times.

"Its gonna be alright cause I'm okay with me"

Jewel

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

1 posted 2020-05-25 01:34 AM

Well, when you come back you sure do it with style. This one starts slow and mysteriously but ends up cutting extremely deep. I can’t help but be intrigued at the questioning of which parts of you from your past matter, for even if they no longer seem a part of you, they are what have made you who you are today. They will always matter in that respect, even as you move forward through change unto who you are becoming. I’m not sure picking and choosing parts to carry with you is possible on a conscious level, but I do think you bring them all with you on some level, and they all matter. If you frequent the ones that genuinely matter to you and embrace them, you will soundly look into any eyes out there and know if there’s a disappearance, it’s not on you and not worth your worry.

Just some advice from someone who spent too many years trying to be what he thought others wanted him to be, and is only just now realizing who he is. Your eyes were meant to be seen.

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

2 posted 2020-05-25 02:14 AM

Michael,
Thank you. I'm definitely blushing here. I was afraid that I'd lost my "oomph"

I try to use the parts as reminders of places I want to go and places that I don't. I do try to consciously pick them in order to maintain stability. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. There was a time when I gave into a side of myself that I wouldn't want to give into again. That is the reason for the attempt at sorting.

"Your eyes were meant to be seen." I love this. The statement and the impact of it has power. Thank you.

"Maybe that's the way I should go
Straight into the mouth of the unknown"

Shinedown

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

3 posted 2020-05-29 01:58 AM

Temptress,
You most certainly have not lost your oomph!
As I read Michael's excellent response, I realized I could not say it better. ~L

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

4 posted 2020-05-31 02:03 PM

Lori,

Thank you. I've been in the company of non writing people for so long I'd forgotten what it's like to have the support and inspiration from people who do write. It is much appreciated. 🙂

"Maybe that's the way I should go
Straight into the mouth of the unknown"

Shinedown

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