Welcome one and all
To happy times at Fatso Hall
My name is Herbert Marcus Brewer
Better known as Herr Sturmbannführer
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Note, all our doors are super wide
So all can squeeze themselves inside
Now place your bags on the wooden stand
Where there’ll be searched for contraband
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Off with your clothes, lay them on the floor
Don’t worry madam; I’ve seen it all before
Now what’s this secreted in your bra?
Oh, two meat pies and a chocolate bar
~
Let me introduce Professor Quack
The inventor of the Reducing Rack
Where all will spend so many hours
Loosing the flab, which it devours
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Breakfast is milk and Carrot flakes
Lunch is juice and Carrot Bakes
Dinner, nourishing Carrot stew
Supper a Carrot, on Tuesdays two
~
On with the shorts and running shoes
Yes, Miss Brown we’ll find some for you
A jolly jaunt, just ten times round
The dead guest’s graveyard in the old compound
~
What bliss is in store, what fun it will be
To relax in the steam room at 200 degrees
All these pleasures and not a penny to pay
Just board and lodging at a thousand a day
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