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Open Poetry #49
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Cari
Member
Posts 411
Englnand

0 posted 2016-04-14 07:32 AM



David Letterman interviews the Scarlet Lady
A Prose piece in dialogue.
*
*

‘Good evening –er Scarlet Lady’
‘Oh no need to be so formal darling, call me Margery’
“You’re an English ghost I believe”?
‘Phantom dear, I prefer phantom, ghost is so down market don’t you think?’
‘Well-er Margery, tell me how long have you been a Phantom?’
‘Let me see, I suppose about three hundred years, off and on’
‘Off and on?’
‘Yes, you don’t think I do this for a living do you?’
‘Well I did actually’.
‘No dear, far too exhausting up half the night, walking through walls, clanking chains and so on. I mean would you?’
‘But I’m not dead’
‘Neither am I darling, Un-dead, I’m the un-dead, get it right sweetheart’.
‘My apologies’
‘That’s alright dear, has anyone told you, that you have lovely eyes’


‘Moving on; how did you become a Gh-sorry phantom?’
‘Oh the old story unrequited love. You see there was this Knight, well on refection more of a false dawn really; Sir Leopold the Large he called himself, if you ask me ‘Sir Thomas the Tiny’ would have been more appropriate.’
‘Margery, this is a family show’
‘Oops sorry, well anyway I was young and naive in those days and after a few weeks of dalliance he transferred his affections to Lady Virginia and believe me she was no—‘
‘Family show Margery’
‘Sorry, so I flung myself off the battlements, the rest is history.’


‘Ah that’s sad; tell me, are you happy in your vocation?’
‘No darling haunting is not what it was’
‘Really?’
‘Yes, you see Political Correctness has taken all the fun out of the profession.’
‘You’re joking’
‘No, we have to move with the times, we phantoms are no different than you in that respect The Big Gin, that’s our leader, has re-written the Synopsis of Scare’
‘Synopsis of Scare?’
‘Our Bill of Rights darling’
‘I see, or at least I think I do’
‘I’ll read you some of the changes that have been made’.

Clause 54: Hygiene. Ghouls must eat with the appropriate cutlery provided
Clause 21: Sexist The Headless Horseman will herby be known as The Cranium Deficient Horse Person.
Clause 68: ‘No Smoking Zones. Members will no longer vanish in a puff of smoke
‘Thank you Margery’
‘There are loads more’
‘We get the gist, thank you; it’s been- er-most entertaining’
‘My pleasure sweetheart; you really have the most enchanting eyes.’
*
*

While writing this I got an image of his minders trying to drag her off the stage. But their arms went straight through her.



© Copyright 2016 Cari - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2016-04-14 11:57 AM


I can't but admire your imagination in this piece. Amazing. I am not familiar with some of your references, but I much enjoyed this excellent write nonetheless.

Margherita

"Forget every touch or sound that did not teach you how to dance."
(Rumi)

Ari Squire
Member
Posts 488
In The Phallus Lane
2 posted 2016-04-14 08:41 PM


Excellent skit Cari. Too good for Letterman. Benny Hill would have been a better venue.

More feelings and fewer words please

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
3 posted 2016-04-16 07:30 AM


You did the subject justice in this piece..
enjoyed reading it.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
4 posted 2016-04-18 09:39 PM


fine writing...james
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