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Open Poetry #49
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Constance
Member
since 2001-07-28
Posts 393
Ohio

0 posted 2015-11-19 06:39 PM





Clothed in sweetest early dew
and with neither pride nor shame
perceived about her aura
she began with naked, blushing breast
to sway upon the green.

Low on her hip, she wore a scarlet hue
that fluttered as it felt the touch of rain.
She was not alone, but moved beside her sister flora.
Still, among them she was beautiful and best
and she was seen-

by searching wind that came in little gusts
and wisps of whispers, which belied its true intent.
“I came with my dear friend rain”, it claimed.
“Please allow us to dance with you this morn-
among the rows”.

And so, innocence enters the arms of lust.
Wind howls, rain pelts and tender stem is bent.
The dance becomes a dervish that will not be tamed
until the garden is a grave of petals strewn and torn-
wherein lies a single ruined rose.



© Copyright 2015 Constance M. Lessard - All Rights Reserved
Ticklefingers
Senior Member
Posts 710
Louisiana
1 posted 2015-11-19 07:01 PM


Such an engaging poem Miss Constance, most appropriately titled. More than a grouping of finely honed metaphors, not the least of which is this selection of mine:
quote:
"The dance becomes a dervish that will not be tamed
until the garden is a grave of petals strewn and torn-
wherein lies a single ruined rose".


Magnificent!


88's friend

She told me "play one for your supper Danny and maybe you'll get breakfast".

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
2 posted 2015-11-19 07:20 PM


What a wonderful poem, Constance, using the elements to tell the story of a beautiful nature-filled dance until at last, what is left is the beauty of that red, red injured rose. Sorry my comments didn't even begin to say what I intended them to say. Just know that I think this is a very beautiful poem . . .

~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

[This message has been edited by JerryPat2 (11-19-2015 08:13 PM).]

Mr Martini
Member
Posts 366
Beneath The Line
3 posted 2015-11-20 03:55 AM


"Clothed in sweetest early dew
and with neither pride nor shame
perceived about her aura
she began with naked, blushing breast
to sway upon the green".


Constance my dear, you have painted my Eve with a most gentle stroke of your hand. I could easily have quoted your entire poem, for my attention is drawn irresistibly to each lucid line.

If that isn't worth a mistletoe the size of a sequoia and a case of lip balm, then what?

The flower is for you. It's fresh and I assure you that it is not a funerary leftover.


Au Revoir  

Here's to you and here's to me and should we ever disagree, here's to me!

Boomer Styles
Member
since 2014-03-02
Posts 194
South Side Of Success
4 posted 2015-11-20 04:20 AM


quote:
a grave of petals strewn and torn-
wherein lies a single ruined rose.
How tragically beautiful this is.

One ladle serves the soup that feeds the mouths of the many.

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
5 posted 2015-11-20 05:46 AM


really great work here!
Your imagery and imagination combine like a rose and trellis here and the combination is flawless! Excellent! ~L

Pete_W
Member
Posts 185
Scotland (UK)
6 posted 2015-11-20 02:35 PM


"And so, innocence enters the arms of lust." Wonderful poem with great allegorical imagery, felt an overpowering need to rush out with an umbrella and save them. Muchly enjoyed.
Thanks.
Pete

Constance
Member
since 2001-07-28
Posts 393
Ohio
7 posted 2015-11-20 03:09 PM


Thanks so much, all of you fellow poets, for reading me and responding so positively! I would like to tell a story by way of explanation about the inspiration for this poem, (something I rarely do), because the incident alarmed me so.

One day I was in the city was parked at a business. Across the street,I saw two lovely young girls talking and laughing on the corner. One willowy girl wore a bright red scarf low on her hip. As I watched, I noticed three older fellows studying those girls. Presently, one man approached and began talking to them. He paid special attention to miss scarf. At first the girls seemed surprised and hesitant, but he must have charmed them and soon had them giggling. What I can't forget is that he eventually motioned his two companions over to join them and they all walked out of sight together. I've always wondered if I could have or should have intervened in some way and if those girls knew the risk they took that day.. anyway, there you are. Thanks again!  

rainyday
Member
Posts 304
Heartland USA
8 posted 2015-11-21 12:09 PM


Constance, What a fabulous write!
Your metaphors so engaging, I loved it.

As for what you said actually inspired it,
yes, gave me goosebumps.

A 'frame it in gold kind of write'
rainyday J

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
9 posted 2015-11-21 01:07 PM


Most beautifully crafted, dear Constance. The metaphors were powerful and indeed there are many kinds of roses who are not respected for what they are ... divine beauty and pure joy for appreciative eyes. And yet they are often seen as preys.

I loved the masterful use of words here.

Love,
Margherita

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