Open Poetry #49 |
The Lady, Lute and Lion |
Pete_W Member Posts 185 Scotland (UK) |
The Lady, Lute and Lion She put down staff, sit, drink from pitcher play her lute. On desert dune she rest, drink, sing to moon. Beside her lute lie down, she stare at sky. She drink, the lady drink …she sleep... November 2015 |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I don't see the lion . . . Ahhh . . . Mayhap he's hiding beyond yon desert dune . . . Or perhaps he is lion down beside her . . . ~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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rainyday Member Posts 304 Heartland USA |
Pete, Is the 'Lion' the constellation Leo in your write? Nice short gem. rainyday J |
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Ticklefingers Senior Member Posts 710 Louisiana |
quote:This was rich JerryPat, if not a bit cheesy on the lame side. Hi Pete! I apologize for upstaging JerryPat's reply on my own, but he does get some good ones off and I always seem to be in the arena when he does. I liked the way you sculpted your lines in this poem. Reading it I couldn't help but hear Charlie Chan covering a Yeats abstract. I find it so attractively gauche. 88's friend She told me "play one for your supper Danny and maybe you'll get breakfast". |
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jjote Senior Member
since 2002-12-25
Posts 1088Ontario, Canada |
short and enigmatic, I can't rush through reading it - have to pause and wonder. |
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Pete_W Member Posts 185 Scotland (UK) |
Hi, thanks for reading, the lion is the speaker / observer in this, I hadn't intended that it would be Leo but then you're the reader so really whatever meaning you place on / find in it is fine |
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Pete_W Member Posts 185 Scotland (UK) |
I may have to register with FacePalm after reading Jerry's reply |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
After reading that you made the lion speak, I perceive it differently. Playing a lute in the desert under a starry sky seems something magical, so deeply magical that even the lion does not see a prey but feels the harmony of the scene ... The conjugation in lion language therefore can be accepted even in its dissonance. It's an impressive poem, it makes me feel inner peace. Margherita |
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