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Open Poetry #49

i would live...

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

0 posted 2015-10-29 06:21 PM

In a yellow lemon as the moon,
On a chair lost as a hen,
In a blue silence lost as an angel,
I would live where you will love me.

On the sea in reliable ribbons,
In the elevator shaft which smiles,
In a car which walks round and round
In your hand which closes on me.

In the obvious fact of the subdued avenues,
On your dress which flies away as a bird,
In your heart which accentuates curtains,
I would live where you will love me …

[This message has been edited by 2islander2 (10-30-2015 12:17 PM).]

Ticklefingers
Senior Member
Posts 710
Louisiana

1 posted 2015-10-30 12:52 PM

Smooth flowing arrangement within its subtle plea.

88's friend

She told me "play one for your supper Danny and maybe you'll get breakfast".

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

2 posted 2015-10-30 11:12 AM

I get the gist of it (like where you're coming from), and it's lovely - but, in readability, really don't get .

Still, always enjoy seeing you.

j.

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

3 posted 2015-10-30 12:13 PM

Thanks tickle fingers for the kind words and reading too,

yann

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

4 posted 2015-10-30 12:17 PM

thanks jwesley, it was a tranlation for a surrealtistic work, images want to have no sense and be provocative for imagination, what you have to remember is the frrench verse :

j'habiterais où tu voudras m'aimer,

may be i should rework translating

have a nice day

yann

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

5 posted 2015-10-30 12:57 PM

Lol - at least you're multilingual - I'm barely even "lingual"...

j.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

6 posted 2015-11-02 05:36 PM

very nice...james

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

7 posted 2015-11-02 08:07 PM

thanks a lot james
yann

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