Dare I Say Pity? (r/p) - pipTalk Forums

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JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

0 posted 2012-02-29 01:22 AM

Dare I Say Pity

How can I be responsible for your loneliness?
Why do you hold me as your heart’s master?
I have nothing of yours, but time.
Remember?
It was a trade:
yours for mine.

I am not the great pretender.
I do not have all the answers,
and even more so,
perhaps none at all.

Why do you continue to search
that podium you fabricated for me,
a plinth for a giant?

I cannot be what I am not.
Certainly not what I might have been,
or should have been,
conveniently, in your mind alone.

However, I do not want to be unkind
and I understand
you are hypersensitive,
in vogue, and a noncognitive spirit.

So a display of me, is your mirror to sanity:
Dare I say pity…?

My thoughts are far from you
since you assumed your place in time
and found no care –
save your own…

Neither respect nor understanding for a mime.
A need-not, are your thoughts,

Are they not…?

You wield your words of singularity divine
As if each star was meant for your kind,
an only child bore by your mother,
she simply had no time for another.
Seems so pretentious to allow
for such simplistic morals…
Are you a faint shadow of her?

My mind, a roller coaster of thoughts…

We were,
I thought, at one time so clear –
possibly as clear as mud.
Ah yes, the “Love is blind” cliché…
I am unreal and such a foolish slug.

Oh, how I can now laugh at my own reflection.
But I did promise my time.
Personally committing that crime.
So now, nothing is accomplished for living,
except for the relentless giving of time
and empty buckets of contrition-love.

Almost ashamed of calling our life
a living.

Even though time usually has its way of
taking and giving –
Never thought it would be a statistical shame.
You, living through my benevolent mondo-wallet…

Now,
our living,
a three-tent
circus stadium,
filled with echoes.
Echoes of silence,
and a scant scent of cotton candy.

The scripting clear,
Yet I have not the sorrow to say:
I was simply living in your way…
Dare I say pity?

.
.
.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

1 posted 2012-02-29 01:28 AM

Wow. It's a read once-think-come back-and read again-poem and I really like it. But, yes, I will need to come back and read again. You are another who crafts their thoughts in a clever play of words and innunendo. I love that and envy it.

A

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

2 posted 2012-02-29 01:31 AM

Thank you A, you do too.
I appreciate your kindness, for sure!!

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

3 posted 2012-02-29 06:02 AM

Yep, like Alison said it is a re-reader. You delved into the dark word of treacherous mind bending to someone else's will. A common occurrence in the topsy-turvy world of male and female love games.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

4 posted 2012-02-29 06:12 AM

The questions in the beginning stanza are all answered in those that follow.

A well thought out poem, JL..

Good poems capture bits and pieces of scenery and, segments of ones lifes time, this one is no exception, I got caught in your moments while reading it...:-)

"It is difficult
to get the news from poems
yet men die miserably every day
for lack of what is found there"
(William Carlos Williams)

[This message has been edited by ice (02-29-2012 12:32 PM).]

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

5 posted 2012-02-29 11:14 AM

This hits home in many ways...lots of insight here JL!

Lori

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

6 posted 2012-03-02 09:46 PM

Fine writing...James

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

7 posted 2012-03-08 12:03 PM

Hey JL
Wonderfully written, what really hit home for me was this...

Why do you continue to search
that podium you fabricated for me,
a plinth for a giant?

I cannot be what I am not.
Certainly not what I might have been,
or should have been,
conveniently, in your mind alone.

It reminded me of how some of us, are unable to view that we each own our own beliefs/cultures, and if someone doesn't live up to our expectations of them, well, we fail them...I've always said, will never marry again or even date, b/c I never want to live my life according to someone else's ideas of how a marriage/relationship should be...
this was extremely thought provoking and delievered very well...enjoyed.

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

8 posted 2012-03-08 12:26 PM

Jerry, yep, That Alison is one smart lady!
=====

Ice:  I was watching the movie, “Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf” when I first got the inspiration for this write, not that this has anything to do with the movie, but the emotion was there.  Maybe??  I really don’t know that this is akin to my life or not, guess it could be to someone’s experiences….
=====

Lori, Thank you dear lady!!
=====

James!  Thank you sir.
=====

Lee J??
So I guess a June wedding is off?  Darn!  You really know how to hurt a guy!!
=====

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

9 posted 2012-03-08 07:38 PM

I have to agree (with all basically) but especially ICE. And it may seem insignificant but my favorite bit of this piece was:

"It was a trade:
yours for mine."

Soooo much said there.

j.

Paul Wilson

Member Elite

since 2002-07-07

Posts 4711
United States

10 posted 2012-03-09 09:23 AM

JL...Amazing write. This takes me down many different roads of life. I reallty liked the ending stanza . Really need to reread to get the full grasp of it...Paul

~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

11 posted 2012-03-09 09:58 AM

JL

quote:
You wield your words of singularity divine
As if each star was meant for your kind,
an only child bore by your mother,
she simply had no time for another.
Seems so pretentious to allow
for such simplistic morals…
Are you a faint shadow of her?

This speaks volumes...maybe we all know someone who has this shadow over them...I know I do.

Well done, m'friend.

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

12 posted 2012-03-09 12:07 PM

J, thank you I do appreciate your reply.
=========

Paul, thank you sir.
=========

Sunshine, thank you dear lady.
=========

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

13 posted 2012-03-13 04:11 PM

Sometimes, words are an arrow, going straight to my heart... and this powerful write did just that. I think I've played both sides of the equation... When expectations don't/can't meet reality, there really is no balance... and we're lucky if we find the pity rather than harsher feelings.

Excellent write!!

bel1e
Senior Member

since 2006-07-24

Posts 1631

14 posted 2012-03-13 04:30 PM

worse thing one can do in a relationship...is fall in love with someone's potential... happens all too often...AND what's worse is that life decisions are made and broken against those expectations...ending in what you have aptly described as a circus act...this does strike good and deep into the core, JL....thanks for sharing....

write on~*~*~

XOXO

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

15 posted 2012-03-13 07:09 PM

Suthern, you are very perceptive. Sometimes people put too much emphasis on what they think they heard said and not what was actually said. And why, why have expectations of someone when there are no barns to store the ones about you? Balance would make it more tenuous due to an expectation of recompense from the other person.
That’s why they call it “love” it is an applied science… Thank you dear lady.
================

BG…
Thank you for being so kind with your sweet encouragement.

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

16 posted 2012-03-13 10:11 PM

oh my, this is some powerful. I have lived this.. a long time ago, but your writing took me back to that place. Wow... I'll just say... wow.

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

17 posted 2012-03-14 07:07 PM

Thank you, Tracey!

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

byski
Member

since 2006-01-26

Posts 235
Alberta, Canada

18 posted 2012-03-26 09:45 PM

I cannot be what I am not.
Certainly not what I might have been,
or should have been,
conveniently, in your mind alone.

However, I do not want to be unkind
and I understand
you are hypersensitive,
in vogue, and a noncognitive spirit.

Wow, slap to the face! I laughed when I first read this, enjoying your talented play with words. But the saying 'laughter is an honest sign of understanding' came to mind when I finished. Unfortunately, I too place people on pedestals in my mind. Thank you for helping me see a new perspective. Enjoyed very much so!

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