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poetically ghetto
Member

since 2004-01-20

Posts 100

0 posted 2013-09-15 03:30 AM

Hey my brother
Im'a talkin to you
You'd best to prepare
for the things you must do
Soon waves of passion
will course through your veins
followed by shame, despair
and disdain.

Listen my man
I know what you feel
A percolating flow
wrapped in pensive appeal
This is the power
there is no cure
When you reach out to others
anathema for sure.

When faced with self knowledge
you need the right tools
The right tools being
the way your mind moves
Things will happen
when bullets fly
So keep on moving
from side to side.

Hey my brother
I will admit
That all this sorrow
is the pits
When forced with woe
you need the right hoe
To dig even deeper
till you reach the damned soul.

So make sure
that the theme is deemed
a solid enforced laser beam
To brighten up the darkest minds
don't give them hell
just give them rhymes.


            eric Martinez
               2013

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

1 posted 2013-09-15 08:26 AM

Ah, trying to dodge the bullets, and the words and the . . . rest is a mind numbing experience in one way or another. Good poem. Good advice sprinkled in. I especially liked . . .

quote:
When forced with woe
you need the right hoe
To dig even deeper
till you reach the damned soul.

~*~ If they give you lined paper write sideways. ~*~

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

2 posted 2013-09-15 08:50 AM

Eric
I liked your last stanza too...I envisioned lobbing limericks and hitting them with Haikus! Very cool concept.

Lori

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

3 posted 2013-09-15 04:15 PM

loved reading this aloud~~ great rhythm and rhyme

M

poetically ghetto
Member

since 2004-01-20

Posts 100

4 posted 2013-09-16 02:00 AM

we as writers are forced to dig so deep that we do so knowing we leave ourselves exposed to critics and those who seek out weakness in others. Having said that here in this community there is talent and insights which abound and motivate ourselves to writing our best thank you for the kind comments the e man

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