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JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

0 posted 2013-02-01 08:17 AM

Thinking back is hurtful at time. So why do we do it? We can't help ourselves, these memories impose their will upon us without mercy.

I used to pull them in.
The old ones.
Even older than that.
Could always feel their stares on the back of my neck.
I'd play the game of pretend,
as they reached out for my counterfeit innocence,
later they'd caress my emptiness and
I'd kiss their hollow words.
I played the game because I had nothing else to do
nowhere else to go
no money to spend
they played it because they'd lost
what they'd never had.
it was an ego trip
to bring to life the living who wasn't alive.
I kept my mask in place
until my physical release; it was then my true self
was exposed with gusto
Hi! I'm the unloved, unwanted trash off the street.
At this point we were both exposed
for the tragic-comedy that we were.
As she hurried me out the door
stuffing folding money into my shirt pocket
all the while telling me how beautiful she used to be,
I wanted to say,
That was then, Witch,
I'm the beautiful people NOW!
And though I have no soul and my life is a fabricated lie,
you spent your husband's money for that lie.
Ah, if she was pathetic, what then was I?
Oh, I knew what I was
I was the fashionable mistake
that goes from place to place seducing the dead
for fools gold
and I laugh when I walk out their doors
until I am out of sight
that's when my suffering
begins to suffocate me and I
hurry to escape into nothingness

©January 10, 2013 / Jerry Pat Bolton

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

Victoria

Member Ascendant

since 2000-08-12

Posts 5869

1 posted 2013-02-01 08:52 AM

Jerry that was a very interesting read...and only someone who has been there can write like you do...it's always an intense feeling when reading your words,making the readers heart pound. Nicely done Jerry

~Victoria

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

2 posted 2013-02-01 09:00 AM

You picked up the truth of the poem, Victoria, and thank you for that. The past just will not let us be sometimes. I'm not sorry for most things I did, besides, it is much too late for that. Thank you very much for reading this poem and understanding.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

3 posted 2013-02-01 10:50 AM

There are parts to everyone's past that hurt.
But that is what builds character.
Sometimes the character turns rotten, but I think in your case it made you a better person.

So what is easier to say? It's water under
the bridge! OR... You dismiss all the strikeouts with one home-run.

Enjoyed the read, Jerry.

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

[This message has been edited by JL (02-02-2013 10:30 PM).]

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

4 posted 2013-02-01 11:17 AM

Oh, I believe in that old adage water under the bridge," and "let sleeping dogs lie," but what are we to do with our memories, but think of them every so often, the good with the bad.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

EmmaRose
Senior Member

since 2011-03-02

Posts 1376
Midwest

5 posted 2013-02-01 03:41 PM

a most stinging and sobering write
but honestly done

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

6 posted 2013-02-01 03:59 PM

I appreciate that you have taken the time to read my poetry and gave me a very nice comment about it. Thank you, Emma.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

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