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Open Poetry #46
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Dog Tags
| Open Poetry #46 |
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Dog Tags |
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Nicole Victoria Junior Member
since 2010-01-22
Posts 24California, USA |
They took my boy away They put him on the bus I couldn’t help but chase it As he waved good-bye to us They took my boy away They cut off all his hair They issued him his Dress Blues And his boots; a brand new pair They took my boy away They issued him his tags I can see him take my picture out When he starts to unpack his bags They took my boy away They trained him with a gun And they always told him “When the enemy comes, never run.” They took my boy away And placed him on the field When the enemy attacked him He would never yield They took my boy away Now he’s sitting in a bed But everyone calls him a hero Because he shot the hajis dead They brought my boy back Accompanied by a triangle flag But before anyone said anything They gave me his dog- tags - Nicole Sterl 1-21-10 Dedicated to Sean Sumner “Semper Fi my love.” |
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| © Copyright 2010 Nicole Victoria Sterl - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Earl Brinkman Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183Osaka, Japan |
Excellent use of repetition throughout the work. The denouement of the final stanza leaves a lasting impression. |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo Nicole, This is a very good poem about a life well lived. Bobby |
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Mark R. Member
since 1999-06-25
Posts 113San Francisco, CA. |
I'm so very sorry to hear about your loss. Having spent many a year serving in the military myself, I can say, that I felt a great pain in my heart reading this. Many of my friends never made it back, and I always thought, "What made me so lucky?" I hope that you may find comfort in knowing that Sean's service and sacrifice will NEVER be forgotten. May he rest in peace. Sending you all my love and prayers. Mark US Veteran |
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Nicole Victoria Junior Member
since 2010-01-22
Posts 24California, USA |
Thank you. I put so much passion and emotion into writing it, so it's good to see some of it shine through |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Fine writing...James |
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Nicole Victoria Junior Member
since 2010-01-22
Posts 24California, USA |
Well, thank you Mark, not just for the comment, but for everytihng you have done for this country. Your service is much appreaciated ( I hope I spelled that right). But I would like to clerify, not just to you but to anyone willing to read it, that Sean is not dead. He, at this moment, is a young highschool man with the dream of making a difference. I support him in everytihng that he sets his mind to. I just know that there is a sad reality that comes with such an honor and I wanted to convey my emotions. Mark I now dedicate this poem not just to Sean, but to your brothers in battle. Thank you |
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Billie Cullimore Member
since 2009-03-27
Posts 315 |
They took my boy away too, and yes they did all those things too. Michael was a Marine in Vietnam. He came home. But the battle scars lasted all to long. He is at rest now and his poor body does not hurt any more. Gone but never forgotten, a mothers broken heart. Billie C. |
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Mark R. Member
since 1999-06-25
Posts 113San Francisco, CA. |
On behalf of my brothers in battle, those who came back, and those that didn't, I'd like to express my gratitude for your warm words. It is rare that I ever hear someone same "Thank you" for my service. For Sean, let him know that there are many ways to make a difference, just being alive has already changed lives. For Billie, I know not the feelings reeling within you, as a mother, but losing my family....my brothers in battle was heart wrentching, from those who came back and those who didn't...it took its toll. Too many a time those that didn't live are forgotten, and those that lived are praised. I only did my job, followed orders, my brothers were heroes in my mind and will continue to be. There is a special place in my heart for them, known or not. Billie I extend my hand to you in friendship, if you ever need someone to talk to, please feel free to contact me. Brothers in battle are true brothers so in turn you are now part of my family. May my prayers be with you. |
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Nicole Victoria Junior Member
since 2010-01-22
Posts 24California, USA |
thank you Billie and Mark. I pray for both you and your families. May we take this journey together, and never forget. The words are deep, the passion is real, the bonds will last, and the love is forever. Thank you |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
hello Nicole, this is a sad poem but a wonderful work of memory and a artful work...Thanks for sharing. yann |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
The tears mother's have cried for soldiers would fill an endless ocean and I don't see their tears drying anytime soon. So sorry for your loss. Ida |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
My dearest Nicole... you make a father proud. Keep writing with an open heart and an eye towards the truth, so that others may see the light the burns bright within your soul. "We'll chase them like rats across the tundra." |
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