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Open Poetry #46
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Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa

0 posted 2010-12-11 12:52 PM


The mountain didn’t ask to be
a container for earth's righteous soul  
but it was calm and undisturbed
until the plea from deep within
"Please open up a crack or two
so I can see what mountains do."

The mountain pleasantly obliged
but 'twas a dangerous journey
as the deep within clawed its way
onward, onward, onward,
towards a higher up perspective.

Finally it celebrated
and on the peak stood happily
determined there to balance
all it saw and felt.

First one foot then the other
but the two together didn't work
so the deep within slid back again
to ponder, assimilate, and justify.

It churned within but at a loss
it merely boiled it all together
and pumped it like a geyser up,
up, up and further up,
till out the mountain flowed the feel
of how mankind behaves.

Hot like lava, yes, it was,
to bury all the lies, deceit,
and burn the trail of footsteps
that forces on the innocent
a mindless follow-on.

The mountain argued reasonably
that humans are a race of greed
born and bred to first believe
truth doesn't fill the coffers.

So the deep within took pity on
all the lowly folk just like me
and after a mere token of
its deep upset and heartbreak
thought to let the people be.

But of the deep within
how can it now be calm, composed,
when in the know and aware
that it must one day rise fully up
to change the way humans behave!

Helen / 11 December 2010

© Copyright 2010 Helen - All Rights Reserved
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
1 posted 2010-12-11 01:00 AM


Interesting. If not the deep within, then perhaps the o-zone will choose to take an extended vaction and let cousin sun cook us from above. I enjoyed your story. It read much like a creation story for me, very tribal. Thanks for sharing. Peace.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
2 posted 2010-12-11 01:32 AM


Hi Andrew - Either way we've had it and creation, yes, but it takes a long time to create what should have been in the first place.  Hmmm? Maybe it was in the first place but we just didn't appreciate it and thought the grass must surely be greener on the other side.  Then, of course, it takes a long time to realize that it actually isn't.  

To sum up then - the creation of anything takes a long time according to our understanding of time but with time passing so quickly these days perhaps that understanding is outdated.  Who knows really?  I could also mimic many others and say, "Who cares?" but I'm done with ... following on.     

Thanks for reading.

Helen  

ILoveTheRain
Member
since 2008-03-02
Posts 157
GA
3 posted 2010-12-11 02:49 AM


This was written very well and uniquely.
Loved the read

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
4 posted 2010-12-11 07:29 AM


The deep questions of existence always find a new attire when you put them into words, dear Poetess.

Enjoyed your ponderings and the view from the peak into the abyss, but sometimes the real depth is discovered when we look upwards.

Such a great read, dear Helen.

Love,
Margherita  

JerryPat
Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991
Louisiana/America
5 posted 2010-12-11 07:55 AM


I'm a firm believer in fighting the fight. In the case of the mountain, however, there are sometimes when the fight is lost before we even begin, Helen.

http://swamprighter.wordpress.com/

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
6 posted 2010-12-11 01:13 PM


Thanks everyone!  I greatly appreciate your comments.  

Helen  

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