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Open Poetry #46
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Blackbirds on a Wire
| Open Poetry #46 |
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Blackbirds on a Wire |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America 
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I stared intently at the blackbirds on the wire lined up in a row as though someone had painted them there fascinated, I continued to gaze hoping to identify which one would fly away first knowing if one flew the coop so to speak the rest would follow because of some unknown inner requirement determined was I to single out the leader of the flock (do you call a group blackbirds a flock? even if they are not flocking but sitting?) I dared not blink but I knew at some point in time I would have to still, I refused the world stood still there was no noise although I knew cars were passing by concentration INTENSE concentration on that damn line of blackbirds "Hey!" startled I inadvertently turned to the sound a woman unknown to me said "When I fall in love and marry I want to be looked at with that same consideration and attentiveness." hearing the sound of fluttering wings I turned too late the blackbirds were in the air |
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| © Copyright 2010 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
oh, to be as interesting as a blackbird. I have a blackbird poem somewhere, back in the dusty archives. I should brush it off, bring it here, to be in tune with a man who turns his head at "hey!"   |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
it's true, we do. |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
"to be in tune with a man who turns his head at "hey!" Yeah, that was a weak moment, huh? Bring on the poem. I love anything about ravens and blackbirds, although I haven't written all that many. Thank you Sunshine for your wonderful comments. <><><><> Lori, I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand your comment. Sometimes it takes me a while. I assume you are speaking about these lines, "When I fall in love and marry I want to be looked at with that same consideration and attentiveness." I appreciate your input, Lori. |
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Prasad Nataraj Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149Bangalore,India |
Bird watching is one of my favorite things to do; it sure takes a lot of concentration. However the joy is fulfilling. Women sure love the undivided attention, fine writing Jerry. "Hardwork pays in the long run" |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Jerry, loved it.I did the same thing yesterday watching Robins at the water plate.It seemed one was the boss of the gang.All he had to do was stand at the edge of the dish and stare the others down. Once in a while they went beak to beak and he always was the one to open his beak. The other would fly off. Then a few others came and he did the same but did not open his beak,so they stayed in the water. Standing by the kitchen window looking out into the back yard can be very entertaining if you care enough about living things. latearrival |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
You are correct on both accounts, Prasad. It seems you too are an observer of birds and women. I thank you for your input. <><><> I hear you, latearrival. The world around us is fascinating, if, as you said, we take the time to observe it. Thanks for being here. |
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mikeandrew Member
since 2010-11-18
Posts 198 |
The leader of the flock, hahaha.great line. |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
Yeah, glad you approved of that line, mikeandrew, and thank you for saying so. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hi Jerry...I like the way you wrote this with the knowing of what a woman wants, yet saying it with a blackbird metaphor and the sound of Leonard Cohen. I think men want that kind of attention too, don't you? |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
One has to be careful of the bird you watch. Where one bird might be worthy of your attention, another is but a mere distraction. At least that is how I read it. Nicely done here, Jerry. "We'll chase them like rats across the tundra." |
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ramisf Member
since 2007-05-17
Posts 93 |
Birds always stay where they please and feel comfortable.... i dont think they were comfortable when they lost your attention ... Enjoyed my friend |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
Thanks Martie and ramisf. Just having fun with this. |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
I think that when a woman unknown to you utters such a revealing sentence as this one, she wants to become known ... Blackbirds are my confidents, so I love this poem very much. Love, Margherita |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
Hi Margherita. Thank you for reading and commenting on my work. I agree with you about the woman and her comment. |
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