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JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

0 posted 2010-12-08 11:00 PM

Written one month and one day before my wife died February 9th of last year. Sorry about getting a little maudlin.

<><><><>

Wife of mine I feel so helpless,
This time I'm in great distress.
In the past I've been able to
Fix our problems with magic glue.

Oh, we have had a few setbacks,
Some assailed us in two-prong attacks.
I held my own, did not give in,
Determined to beat it and win.

With you by my side I hung tough,
Until the problem I did cuff.
Nothing could penetrate and harm,
Side by side we fought arm and arm.

It is different this time old girl,
Life's hurricane has been unfurled.
Giving me pause, and time to think,
This time everything's out of sync.

The years have come to you at last,
Given you something I can't blast.
It has dug deep and found your core,
I hardly know you anymore.

I scream aloud and yes, I cry,
'Cause I can't fix this on the sly.
This is something new in our life,
It's struck down my beautiful wife.

I am here and will always be,
I'm weathered like an old oak tree.
Slightly bent and worse for the wear,
But I straighten myself and glare.

I can't fix it this time my sweet,
But if we can, death we will cheat.
My soul is gray and in anguish,
Bringing you home my only wish.

If I cannot fix it this time,
And all I can to do is rhyme,
I give thanks to the night we met,
And tell the world we aren't done yet

http://swampwriter.blogspot.com/

[This message has been edited by JerryPat (12-09-2010 07:36 AM).]

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

1 posted 2010-12-09 12:01 PM

How precious. It made me cry. Bless your heart. Lori

gilead
Senior Member

since 2008-03-10

Posts 1067
nevada, USA

2 posted 2010-12-09 12:34 PM

How abjectly dark, sad, and abysmal, when that moment drops like a lead curtain---powerlessness, "I can't fix it this time." How we love to imagine that magic potion, to hand it over and say drink, and all will be well. Alas, there is no such potion; we face the juxtaposition of darkness and light, and cling to the power of love to be the greater light to guide us through the night of nights. I can't say I enjoyed the poem, that would be out of place, but I can say with reverence, that by it I am moved. My heart goes out to you, Jerry.

Your new friend,

Art

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

3 posted 2010-12-09 12:36 PM

No wit, no guile, no repartee.

Just a helpless hug from me to you.

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

4 posted 2010-12-09 12:44 PM

Thank you so much Lori, Art and serenity. I almost didn't post this. I am glad now that I did.

http://swamprighter.wordpress.com/

Prasad Nataraj
Senior Member

since 2008-05-29

Posts 1149
Bangalore,India

5 posted 2010-12-09 01:21 PM

They say that the soul visits its most favorite place, after death. Pretty sure they will read the true feelings too. Fine writing, Jerry.

"Hardwork pays in the long run"

Amaryllis
Senior Member

since 2010-05-20

Posts 1306
Mi now

6 posted 2010-12-09 01:46 PM

I am most sorry for your loss, Jerry, and the pain you have suffered. I salute your strength to rise again, and to post this, also. Very heartfelt, wrenching.

May you have peace...

Amaryllis

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

7 posted 2010-12-09 02:24 PM

Strange you said that, Prasad, because a few days after Dottie passed away I was in the back on the computer with my dog lying at my feet and I hear her voice as clear as day say, "Darling?"

My dog heard to to because he jumped up and started looking toward the living room. I got up and walked in there with my dog right beside me. Of course no one was there, but I opened the door wondering if someone has passed by the window and was talking. There wasn't. But my dog didn't go with me. He stayed in front of her favorite chair just staring at it. So your comment about the soul visiting its favorite place struck me.

<><><><>

Thank you, Amaryllis, for your kind words. They are most appreciated.

http://swamprighter.wordpress.com/

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

8 posted 2010-12-09 10:18 PM

Prasad is ever so right...and you are not wrong in what you heard, my friend.

I only wish that more people would be as amenable to the blessings of the crossings...

even though they go, they leave ways beautiful
for us to remember them warmly.

Never again apologize for your gifts....nor your writings.

Your wife was blessed.

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

9 posted 2010-12-09 10:26 PM

I had a near case of the chills as I read your comments, Sunshine. I have kinda pushed that in back of my mind over the last year. Trying perhaps to talk myself out of what happened that morning. I might can talk myself out of what I heard, but my dog heard it also and I will never believe otherwise. It has not happened again, but it did happen that time. I have to think on this. I feel a book coming.

http://swamprighter.wordpress.com/

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

10 posted 2010-12-09 10:33 PM

I can think of nothing to make one feel more helpless than what you experienced, Jerry. A very heart-wrenching write...

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

11 posted 2010-12-09 10:42 PM

Hi Balladeer, and you are, of course right. No amount of trying, bluffing, fighting matters when it' over, it's over. She suffered. Her leaving was a good thing. Hard to say and admit, but it was. Thanks for your kindness.

http://swamprighter.wordpress.com/

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

12 posted 2010-12-10 01:03 AM

The pain within this piece, its heart breaking.

-Trina.

You'd be surprised by the pain I can imagine inflicting and receiving.

ramisf
Member

since 2007-05-17

Posts 93

13 posted 2010-12-10 02:11 AM

Beautiful....
I hope that your wife will appreciate a great person like you

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

14 posted 2010-12-10 06:53 AM

I thank you, Trina, for your kindness.

http://swamprighter.wordpress.com/

bigthinker8
Junior Member

since 2010-11-22

Posts 19
Chicago Il

15 posted 2010-12-10 10:43 AM

Wow the definition "true" love. So many have no one, you had such a gift. Wonderful poem. God bless.

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

16 posted 2010-12-10 10:52 AM

I appreciate your kind words, bigthinker8.

http://swamprighter.wordpress.com/

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

17 posted 2010-12-10 09:19 PM

JP...you've read my "Thursday" poems...
she said she wouldn't stop watching
over me. And, she hasn't. We were friends...
but we shared time!

Time transcends.

It does, in my book.

Should you ever read it, then you will know for sure...how I know.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

18 posted 2010-12-10 09:46 PM

Jerry....I have found out through experience, that love never dies. I was very touched by your poem. Those things that the heart knows make the best poetry. Hugs!

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

19 posted 2010-12-10 09:58 PM

I had only read one of your Thursday poems, Sunshine, and I didn't quite grasp what I now understand. I have searched and found the other poems. I now understand why you are so adamant when you say that dreams are real and it was Dottie I heard that day. You are living it and have lived it. I truly enjoyed reading that part of you. I know you a little better now, because love such as you wrote about is precious and everlasting.

<><><><>

Thank you Martie, and I agree, when you write from the heart, even if the poem or essay isn't the best your feelings come to the forefront and helps smooth over the rough spots.

http://swamprighter.wordpress.com/

Andrew Scott
Member Elite

since 1999-06-24

Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA

20 posted 2010-12-10 11:44 PM

Jerry, the love and dedication you have towards your wife are truly evident within your words here. Though deeply personal, no doubt you have spoken for so many others with this piece. With utmost respect for you, your wife, and the love you share, I say her passing is just the next step in the continuous journey that has been, and will always be, yours together. Thank you for sharing. Peace to you, friend.

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

21 posted 2010-12-11 01:23 PM

Jerry - This poem touched me deeply. How much sadness and loss there is in life and yet it's hard to think of it as a permanent loss when you had the experience you did have. Dogs do "see". May your memories of the good times together live forever.

Helen

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

22 posted 2010-12-11 01:58 PM

Helen, I thank you for your sensitive thoughts concerning my poem.

http://swamprighter.wordpress.com/

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