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flash
Member

since 2010-11-28

Posts 213
miami beach, florida

0 posted 2010-12-08 07:28 AM

My first batch of senryu seemed to be popular, so here is another funny bunch--to lighten up your day. For those unfamiliar, traditional haiku / senryu (humorous haiku) have 3-lines with strict 5 7 5 syllabic count. Thanks for looking.

daylight saving time
turning the clock back one hour
wanting to turn more!

reading whodunit
I still don't know whodidit:
bookworms ate killer

some four-leaf clovers
after storm-- not so lucky:
three point five and less

badly bent with age
the man's reflective shadow
kisses him goodnight

at the wishing well
a beggar makes wish--wades in--
tomorrows breakfast!

walking city streets
no one making eye contact
except the beggars

dentist waiting chair
"sir, please remove your bluetooth,"
the hygeinist asks

[This message has been edited by flash (12-08-2010 11:48 PM).]

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

1 posted 2010-12-08 08:38 AM

"reading whodunnit
I still don't know whodidit:
bookworms ate killer"

Lived that one in particular AND the very last one. Like your sense pf humor.

http://swampwriter.blogspot.com/

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

2 posted 2010-12-08 09:37 AM

Enjoyed! Lori

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

3 posted 2010-12-08 10:19 AM

They're all wonderful, but I really like this.

quote:
some four-leaf clovers
after storm-- not so lucky:
three point five and less

-Trina.

You'd be surprised by the pain I can imagine inflicting and receiving.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2010-12-08 11:16 AM

pretty neat

I missed your grand entrance but let me say "Welcome" now

Amaryllis
Senior Member

since 2010-05-20

Posts 1306
Mi now

5 posted 2010-12-08 11:18 AM

These are excellent! Fun to read, and, as all short-form poetry, deceptively simple... many have a depth beneath the words that surprises. The fourth one is particularly resonant. I love it. Great job, poet!

My best~
Amaryllis

A pile of scribbles here:
http://sharonleighpoetry.blogspot.com

flash
Member

since 2010-11-28

Posts 213
miami beach, florida

6 posted 2010-12-08 01:10 PM

Amaryllis, passing shadows, Trina, Jerry Pat:

Thanks all and glad you enjoyed reading these--I certainly enjoyed creating them!

Amaryllis: yes, these are deceptively simple and each took a long time to create, edit and come up with the correct word to fit the thought. Yes, the one where his shadow kiises him goodnight (if I may toot my own horn) had an interesting twist.

These were created a couple months ago, I have now abandoned the old style 5 7 5 syllabic count and have been composing free style haiku--which I hope to share with all soon.

Passing Shadows: thanks for the warm welcome. Hope to contribute and share in the months to come.

My best to you all!

Al

ken206573
Member

since 2008-10-14

Posts 487

7 posted 2010-12-08 06:29 PM

Each poem was wonderful.

Earl Brinkman
Senior Member

since 2010-03-03

Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan

8 posted 2010-12-08 06:47 PM

These are really quite clever! Well done indeed.

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