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Open Poetry #46
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Yours To Hold
| Open Poetry #46 |
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Yours To Hold |
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FloraScars Junior Member
since 2010-11-08
Posts 33VA, USA |
tell me what you think please. (criticism too) (Free Verse) I'll give you something Something I hold dearly Before I give it to you I think you should know, Just how i feel When I look at you I feel like I've won a trophy When you touch me I feel like I'm on fire When you look at me I feel like I'm out of this world So I'll give you this Just please don't break it It's very fragile |
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| © Copyright 2010 Flora Papadimitriou - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
As far as poetry goes, and in my opinion, I like it. It begins by stating certain facts and it maintains those facts, or statements throughout the poem, i.e., you are overwhelmed by the person you write it for. Sometimes it is much better to let your love interest know how you feel in person. I am not against love poems, and have written them myself. However, there is a point where penning these passionate poems over and over can actually have the opposite effect that you might want it to have. Some people feel pressured, etc. Please. Don't take what I said as knocking your poem or your writing love poem in particular. As I said, they do have their place. http://swampwriter.blogspot.com/ |
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FloraScars Junior Member
since 2010-11-08
Posts 33VA, USA |
thank you and actually when i was writing this poem it was to help me to tell that person how i felt, i told them about a day or two after writing it |
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