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JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

0 posted 2010-11-23 07:00 PM

I didn't write this for
or about you
no matter what you think
you did not come into the picture
your presence is not
inside the lines
I didn't call your name
not even spiritually
if somewhere
within this poem
beauty is spoken of
it will be the beauty of a famous painting
not you
you can sit there
glacially rigid
in my mind you have become extinct
life goes on
without you
sadness is a state of mind
to be overcome
to relapse time and again
like a passing gas stench
but it goes away again
I have gotten over
your beauty
it serves no place in my being
when I think of you
dark, ominous clouds surround you
an omen
telling me your memory is dead
maybe I'll put these words
to music
I close my eyes
open them quickly
it matters not what you believe
I didn't write this about you.

. . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$!

[This message has been edited by JerryPat (11-23-2010 08:42 PM).]

Earl Brinkman
Senior Member

since 2010-03-03

Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan

1 posted 2010-11-23 08:13 PM

No matter what the poet may say the poem is about her. His repeated denials betray him. ---- It was an engaging read that held my interest.

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

2 posted 2010-11-23 08:44 PM

Earl. Earl. Earl. How many times did I say it wasn't about her? Huh? Need new glasses? Nope, it ain't about her. Them's my last words.

Thanks man, for reading my poem and commenting, it is appreciated.

. . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$!

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

3 posted 2010-11-23 10:57 PM

There ya go!! I'll be the first to admit I read everything into everything.
I'm thinking of taping this to my monitor.

Good one, JP~

N|D|N|C|Lost-Poet
Member

since 2009-07-30

Posts 360
New Orleans

4 posted 2010-11-23 11:00 PM

I liked it, wonder who it was for though...

Beautifully written.

“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.” -Henry David Thoreau

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

5 posted 2010-11-23 11:01 PM

I'm not surprised, Blue. It pays to read everything into everything. Thank you a lot for being here.

. . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$!

<><><><><><><><>

Thank you Lost. It is just someone from many years ago that I can't get out of my thoughts. The mother of two of my children.

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

6 posted 2010-11-24 01:30 AM

Oh God, I thought Bluesy said she was gonna tape this to her mother .. i gotta get my glasses on.

Love the poem, Jerry and I get it. It ain't about me.

A

Spiros Zafiris
Senior Member

since 2002-10-20

Posts 982
Canada

7 posted 2010-11-24 02:22 AM

..it helps (it clarifies) to write
about it..enjoyed..>>spiros

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

8 posted 2010-11-24 02:47 AM

Love the turnabout Jerry
Clever write.

I wrote a song once about missing a lost love but I blamed it on the rain and the day....Said it must be that couldn't be anything else.

Good work as always Jerry

Eric

Prasad Nataraj
Senior Member

since 2008-05-29

Posts 1149
Bangalore,India

9 posted 2010-11-24 04:21 AM

Fine writing, Jerry. Such struggle between denial and acceptance. Another gem from your memory box.

"Hardwork pays in the long run"

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant

since 2000-06-17

Posts 5546
missouri

10 posted 2010-11-24 04:30 AM

Boy do I ever know the feeling...its NOT about you...but it is. I really liked this

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

11 posted 2010-11-24 08:59 AM

Hah! That's funny, Alison, thank you very much for being here.

<><><><>

Yes, you are right, Spiros, it does help to air things out. Thanks for reading my work.

<><><><>

Appreciate your comments, Eric, as always. Thanks.

<><><><>

Hi, Prasad. Thank you for supporting me by reading and commenting.

<><><><>

Paula,I have a feeling you really do understand. Thanks.

. . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$!

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

12 posted 2010-11-24 10:30 AM

JP...enjoyed the conflict, bravado and romantica all blended here..

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

13 posted 2010-11-24 10:55 AM

Thanks, DS, noted and appreciated.

. . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$!

gilead
Senior Member

since 2008-03-10

Posts 1067
nevada, USA

14 posted 2010-11-24 03:03 PM

One is easily tempted to say methinks he denies to much, but I will not make that judgment but, rather, let the poet's word and intentions stand as expressed. More importantly, it's a great poem!

Art

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

15 posted 2010-11-24 04:26 PM

Jerry...If the She you are not writing about reads this, she'll know by not writing about her, you have. Enjoyed this.

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

16 posted 2010-11-24 06:10 PM

I have a sneaking feeling that she will, Martie, thank you for being here.

. . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

17 posted 2010-11-26 02:36 AM

uh-huh...I see.

I wasn't gonna touch this one, but I did.

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

18 posted 2010-11-26 05:59 AM

Don't exactly know what you mean, p.s., but now that you're here, thanks.

. . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$!

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

19 posted 2010-11-26 11:55 AM

Not about her eh? If not her, then who?

Enjoyed this.

-Trina.

"A heart that can't feel its broken- can't heal."

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

20 posted 2010-11-26 12:18 PM

I ain't talkin', see. Beat me black and blue, I ain't talkin', see. (My best Humphrey Bogart)

Thanks for being here.

. . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$!

Andrew Scott
Member Elite

since 1999-06-24

Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA

21 posted 2010-11-26 02:14 PM

He had walked so far away from his desire as to approach her from behind... where he tapped her upon the shoulder and now they stand face to face. But, it wasn't about her.

A quality read, Sir Jerry.

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

22 posted 2010-11-26 02:38 PM

Thank you, Andrew. Try as I might, I don;t believe I've fooled anyone, especially her who looks down from above.

. . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$!

Andrew Scott
Member Elite

since 1999-06-24

Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA

23 posted 2010-11-26 02:44 PM

You'll never fool that one, Jerry.

Not that you'd ever want to, I feel. Peace.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

24 posted 2010-11-26 02:47 PM

When you're right, you're right, Andrew . . .

. . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

25 posted 2010-11-26 04:26 PM

Reminds me of the song

You're so Vain...

...and here I thought it was all about me!

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

26 posted 2010-11-26 04:57 PM

Yep, I kinda had that song in my thoughts when, or directly after I finished this. Great song too.

P.S.: And how do you know it wasn't about you!?

. . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$!

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