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Open Poetry #46
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Fickle Flickering
| Open Poetry #46 |
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Fickle Flickering |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside 
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Across town I heard your gears shifting before we arrived at the point of no return the sun hung down low and winter was turning to spring we took a chance on a spin riding the wind and I never looked back. You were slick in your leather chaps and silver belt buckle perhaps I was over dressed in black chiffon and rose colored glasses that backfired as an understatement of my willingness to be inspired by my own desire. Had I been more subtle yellow florals and a corona with lime might have kept it simpler as per your suggestions I saved for another day when the summer sun made for seeing through each others reflections. We seemingly swam in the glass upon waves of silver and gold drowning in opaques and aquamarine waves like the changing scenery we became familiar adjusting our eyes to the fickle flickering of a topaz sunset and a crescent moon that would leave us starring through tinted windows wanting. Tempering the beat of my heart. |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
babyblue... cool stuff babe [This message has been edited by Dark Stranger (11-07-2010 06:46 AM).] |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Stunning write, Bluesy! "rose colored glasses that backfired as an understatement of my willingness to be inspired by my own desire." Wonderfully expressed.  Helen |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
quite interesting ... fine writing! |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
You describe breaking up in such a way that it seems almost pleasing, which, if you think about it I suppose it is. I love your attention to detail and the wordage is simply superb. . . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$! |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
My my there's lot's of colorful images and scenes in this piece. Some perfect ambiguity also. Good work! Eric |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Thanks D~ the lines are narrow, don't try to read too much in between them.. Thank you honey girl for always reading me. Dreampoet~ Thank you so much, your comments me a lot to me. JP~ That's high praise and I thank you kindly. ethome~ Always happy to know you have stopped by. Thank you always for leaving a kind word. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
quote: I remember that boy... oh, he was gorgeous... and I...I still have those rose-colored glasses... this oh so spoke to me of "my time" and I should send it to my granddaughter just so she might know that her granny did some high flying dreamin'! Good stuff, my friend! |
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Prasad Nataraj Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149Bangalore,India |
Fine writing, emotions are well coated with great word play. "Hardwork pays in the long run" |
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s1nfully_1nn0c3nt Senior Member
since 2003-10-26
Posts 1105Watertown, NY |
Wonderful imagery. Enjoyed this. -Trina. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
wonderfully told ma'am... no matter how narrow the lines might be, you have scribed them well here.. always a pleasure to read you, and to enjoy your art... |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
"Perhaps I was over dressed in black chiffon and rose colored glasses." Love this, Blues. So creative. Ida |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
"You were slick in your leather chaps and silver belt buckle perhaps I was over dressed in black chiffon and rose colored glasses that backfired as an understatement of my willingness to be inspired by my own desire." Hi BlueSerenade, it's been a loong time. I really love the above lines, and the ending ones? were perfect. smiles m |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
"adjusting our eyes to the fickle flickering of a topaz sunset and a crescent moon that would leave us starring through tinted windows wanting. Tempering the beat of my heart." resounding amazing work. |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
This is truly beautiful! I have to echo the others, and say: Bravoooo!  . ~A |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Aw Sunshine, you're so sweet. Thank you~ Prasad~ I'm happy to know you enjoyed my poem. Thanks Glad you liked this, innocent1~ Thanks so much for reading. Oh but it is my pleasure having you read me. Thanks cpat~ About the narrow lines, well that was a quote to one of my replies only to have a stranger come along and pull an edit job when I wasn't looking.  Thank you Ida~ Yea those rose colored glasses are over rated! Ya think!! Wow wow wow! What an unexpected surprise to see you here Marie. Thank you so much for leaving a little something for me. Miss you angel lady~ Thank you fair lady for your nice reply and for popping this up again. I love hearing from you. Hey A~ aaaaaaaaargh, wouldn't you know I went and used "seemingly" Funny how some words trip us up. Truth be told, it is rather annoying ha!!! thanks again. |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
Lol, Bluesy! And I am guilty of `cerulean`, I know it!  Anyhow, one teensy lil `seemingly` in this poem cannot harm it... truth be told I hadn`t noticed it It`s really such a neat piece.. Love, Amaryllis |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I am just going to stamp this with "IWIHWT" (I wish I had written this). Wonderful writing and I am keep, keep, keeping this poem. xoxoxo A |
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