Open Poetry #46 |
godiva of cold stone |
Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
you were godiva serving ice cream but it melted before we embelished your hands were cold enough perhaps but your heart caused the milk to spill but you liked my beard you said later when it was wearing your recent residue like left over kisses keep their linger you said my smile fit only your lonely we left our wings in the closet by the door and our halos over erect ends of chairs we did our best at crashing into slowly but enjoyed the pricking of its splinters when our tattoos bled only loving laughter _______________ daark |
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Eusta B. Mae Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903 |
D- sounds like a good time was had by all...now what is it you put in your pen again? ebm |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
great writing as always sir... strong wordplay and an ending that ties it all together truly a pleasure to enjoy your offerings |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
A painful, somewhat roundabout way to achieve the common goal, but then, isn't that always the case? Good writing, buddy. . . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(!$! |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
Makes me want both ice cream AND chocolate~! . ~Amaryyyllis |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms ebm..thanks lady..the pen had some slippery ink and a whisper of endemism. ________________ cpat, thanks amigo..I appreciate your reads __________________ jerrypat, thanks guy ______________ a'mary...well there is a coldstone just down the street and a blind lady serves so no one knows how much you eat..come on over. thanks lady |
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s1nfully_1nn0c3nt Senior Member
since 2003-10-26
Posts 1105Watertown, NY |
"you said my smile fit only your lonely" Beautiful. Your writing is like chocolate and ice cream , Something I always enjoy. -Trina. |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms sinz..thanks lady friend.. |
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Prasad Nataraj Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149Bangalore,India |
“but you liked my beard you said later when it was wearing your recent residue” true words,i’ve heard them say this in real. Fine writing Dark. "Hardwork pays in the long run" |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
thanks prasad.. |
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Earl Brinkman Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183Osaka, Japan |
`But you liked my beard you said later when it was wearing your recent residue` This is a piece with a super-cool mood that is filled with imagery that leaves a strong impression. |
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naturegirl Member
since 2009-09-30
Posts 168England |
Ahem, (looks away blushing) enjoyed this one. thanks for sharing. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I sometimes wonder if you are aware of just how artfully you seduce with your words. Your words stir me in deep places... and you can take that any way you like. And seriously, every time I read you--every time--I sit here afterwards, and when I'm done digesting your thoughts, after I examine how intricately you craft your work as to appear natural and without guile, I think of who this man might be who writes such poignant sensuality, and I am left with only one word to sum up how I feel about this author that I've had the privilege to read for nearly a decade now... And Dave? The word is respect. I hope that I didn't embarrass you by saying all that. I just thought I should say "thank you" for being a unique voice in choir. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I tend to agree. Your words are so effortlessly read that they signal a great amount of work to make them that way. It's always a pleasure to read you.. |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
EB, thanks amigo _________________ naturegirl, your blush is so sexy, thanks ms ____________________ Karen, humble thanks lady friend for the review and the sharing of your reactions...they are special ________________ Deer, thanks guy, I appreciate your reviews and comments |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
"you said my smile fit only your lonely" It's all good, but I liked this line in particular. "We'll chase them like rats across the tundra." |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
thanks andrew |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: "Loving laughter" is such a main ingredient in every love feast such as this! (had plenty of "Godiva Orangettes" recently ... ... oh the melting experience!) Wonderful! Love, Margherita |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms mar, thanks lady friend |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Great unique lines DS Love the crashing into slowly....I think I tried that somewhere. Write on! Eric |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
thanks amigo |
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