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Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

0 posted 2010-11-01 10:40 PM

Time walking
through dreams
and memories,
over graves.
Time walking
through a meadow
of stars
to the space
between lives
and finally returning...
to the illusion.

Ida Werrett

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

1 posted 2010-11-01 11:06 PM

This took me to all kinds of places and each one a paradise all it's own.

Even the illusion evokes a sense of wonder.

You write the short verse so well, Ida~

Winter
Junior Member

since 2010-11-01

Posts 10
On the autumn wind

2 posted 2010-11-01 11:17 PM

This is very beautiful!

Andrew Scott
Member Elite

since 1999-06-24

Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA

3 posted 2010-11-01 11:18 PM

Niiiccceee! "... and finally returning to the illusion." Yaaaaa, I like that... I like that a lot.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

4 posted 2010-11-02 12:11 PM

Nicely done.... it is concise and takes the reader a long way, with a few words...
I enjoy your talent Ida

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

5 posted 2010-11-02 12:16 PM

Hey Ida

I really like the way you brought this home...
"and finally returning...
to the illusion."

There's a cascade of truth in that ending.....Good work!

Eric

eminor_angel
Member

since 2003-05-22

Posts 323
Canada

6 posted 2010-11-02 01:39 AM

I like this, but I think it would be stronger without the ellipse. Your words alone provide emphasis.

Prasad Nataraj
Senior Member

since 2008-05-29

Posts 1149
Bangalore,India

7 posted 2010-11-02 05:21 AM

fine writing.

"Hardwork pays in the long run"

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

8 posted 2010-11-02 08:11 AM

It does feel like an illusion sometimes, doesn't it? Still, most of us feel the need to partake in life's illusions because the alternative scares us.

. . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$!

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

9 posted 2010-11-02 08:41 AM

Sadly, time stops for no one. Enjoyed this.

-Trina.

"To decieve ones self, is truly a grueling battle. One which we're destined to lose."

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant

since 2006-11-07

Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !

10 posted 2010-11-06 02:37 PM

WHAT a GRAND-FINE line:

"Time walking
through a meadow
of stars
to the space
between lives(!)"

SUPERB writing!

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

11 posted 2010-11-07 02:54 AM

Thank you to all the fine poets who have taken the time to read and comment, It means a great deal to me.
Ida

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