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eminor_angel
Member

since 2003-05-22

Posts 323
Canada

0 posted 2010-10-24 01:25 AM

I've sung you to sleep so many times before,
but you've had enough of this lullaby
You'd rather this darkness linger
but there's no cure for morning, little one
no way to keep the light from stumbling in
still hazy from its sleep
so let your dreams come and take you.
I watch you like the night sky, your hair
spread like a comet's tail on your pillow
pale eyelids as half moons
I watch you as the night sky turns to dawn

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2010-10-24 03:10 AM

wow

this is a bit sad

love it!

Yuka
Member

since 2010-08-19

Posts 71
china

2 posted 2010-10-24 08:52 AM

beautiful but sad
love it

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

3 posted 2010-10-24 11:32 AM

Powerful write, eminor angel.
Ida

eminor_angel
Member

since 2003-05-22

Posts 323
Canada

4 posted 2010-10-24 02:03 PM

thanks for reading - I didn't intend it to be sad! More wistful, maybe, if that?

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

5 posted 2010-10-26 01:09 PM

After reading this I kind of pictured lost love, its an interesting take on it.
"but theres no cure for morning, little one" can be taken as "I can't be forced to love you"
"I watch you as the night sky turns to dawn" - sounds like letting someone go because its what they need/want to be happy. Ehhh....just my thoughts on this.

Enjoyed.

-Trina.

"To decieve ones self, is truly a grueling battle. One which we're destined to lose."

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

6 posted 2010-10-27 09:19 PM

Loved the feelings of tenderness as well as the sleepy time visuals.

Excellent poem~

eminor_angel
Member

since 2003-05-22

Posts 323
Canada

7 posted 2010-10-27 09:24 PM

thanks so much for the comments, I appreciate them so much.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

8 posted 2010-10-28 06:38 AM

can see the dream place
and one wanting it to remain
undisturbed...enjoyed it!!

Amaryllis
Senior Member

since 2010-05-20

Posts 1306
Mi now

9 posted 2010-10-28 02:31 PM

Beautiful, tender and poignant. Nicely done!
Best~
Amaryllis

gilead
Senior Member

since 2008-03-10

Posts 1067
nevada, USA

10 posted 2010-10-28 03:10 PM

e-minor, one of my favorite keys on the musical scale, and in this poem I sense the beauty and sadness of the song of life's continued awakening to the dawn of uncertainty, but your poem is so flush with hope, till I'm moved to lift high the cup of hope, and shun the cup of sadness. This is a wonderful poem, and I am deeply moved by its consummate beauty.

I'm so happy to have this privilege to read your artistry for the first time ---

Art

eminor_angel
Member

since 2003-05-22

Posts 323
Canada

11 posted 2010-10-28 11:56 PM

thanks again! Any weak spots? Places that are unclear?

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