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s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

0 posted 2010-10-15 06:00 AM

Touch me again
deep down inside
make it all disappear
confuse my tormented mind
blurr the world
so I can be
"tough as nails"
and full of glee

How? you ask
well, can't you see
its my three best friends
Jose, Jack and Johnny
they erase the past
a loss for a gain
life seems better
especially without the pain

I've become their slave
it's true indeed

my soul is broken
my heart is week
my faith is gone

but-
Alcohol is all I need.

-Trina.

"To decieve ones self, is truly a grueling battle. One which we're destined to lose."

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2010-10-15 07:03 AM

rough thing to put your faith in... and a hard one to beat...

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

2 posted 2010-10-15 07:27 AM

Indeed. but I always manage to escape before I'm chained to this form of slavery.

-Trina.

"To decieve ones self, is truly a grueling battle. One which we're destined to lose."

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

3 posted 2010-10-15 07:33 AM

that's a good thing ma'am... we make ourselves slaves to a lot of things throughout life. Some we pursue for pleasures, some out of convention or neccessity, and if we can ovoid the ones that might indeed bring us to our own destruction, we've probably succeeded in life....

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

4 posted 2010-10-15 11:32 AM

Your message is a stark one, however not a good place to be.

Hope you change your path sooner than later.

Be well innocent one.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

5 posted 2010-10-15 11:56 AM

I drink just enough to work up the nerve to buy drugs and then I watch obama speeches...guess I am one sick puppy...

seriously though..we all have our crutches and we all make the decisions of how many flights of stairs we can handle.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

6 posted 2010-10-15 03:02 PM

You say to "tell it like it is"...sad thing about alcoholism...it affects a lot more than just yourself. I am living what the damage can do to a long relationship and a life.

I hope you can understand that, and realize that it is nothing to take a chance on.

M

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

7 posted 2010-10-15 05:04 PM

LoL Dark - there isn't enough alcohol in the world to make me sit through a whole obama speech.

On a serious note - I don't think I could give in completely to alcoholism...I know all to well the damage that can be done, my father gave in long before I came along.
Whenever I see I'm depending on the "numbness" I kinda go on a retreat - sort things out with a clear head.

Blues, Dark, & Nakd - Thanx for stopping by.

-Trina.

"To decieve ones self, is truly a grueling battle. One which we're destined to lose."

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

8 posted 2010-10-15 07:29 PM

quote:
Whenever I see I'm depending on the "numbness" I kinda go on a retreat - sort things out with a clear head.

I'm glad to see this remark, my dear...
it tells me that at least you believe
you are making this choice responsibly.

easy1
Senior Member

since 2010-05-22

Posts 1209
Southeastern USA

9 posted 2010-10-15 11:43 PM

I appreciate the author's dilemma here.
Best of luck on staying sober one day at a time. Hopefully coffee or tea don't cause headaches.

And hopefully casual alcohol use is past, and it can be reserved for infrequent sacramental use, that is, only on the full moon while locked in a cage without Internet (or some such thing).

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

10 posted 2010-10-16 03:57 AM

this sure hit home and I wasn't quite sure if I wanted to read it but I did.

Boy has alcohol done a lot of damage in my life! Got me homeless, friendless, in jail, and almost killed in a car wreck...so I do relate and thank you for sharing this.

Earl Brinkman
Senior Member

since 2010-03-03

Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan

11 posted 2010-10-16 07:19 AM

I know about pain because I live with it everyday. Pain affects people in different ways you could say. For me I have a very strong competitive spirit. I don`t like to lose to anyone or anything. For me giving in to pain through alcohol is saying to pain that its got the better of me. ---- Your circumstances are different but I would like you to be careful and not let the pain monster get the better of you. He ain`t so tough. ---- I wrote a poem about myself called `A Fistful of Me` I think writing about yourself will help you to overcome some of your demons.

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

12 posted 2010-10-16 09:15 AM

@Sunshine - Easy - Shadows - Earl
Thanx for dropping in, and for your encouraging words. Know that they are appreciated.

-Trina.

"To decieve ones self, is truly a grueling battle. One which we're destined to lose."

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

13 posted 2010-10-16 10:51 PM

I noticed your quote.
Ida

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