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Open Poetry #46
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Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 2010-08-24 02:27 PM

It’s the end of August and the rain won’t stop,
And the cars all drift through this water maze,
People watch their feet, hardly looking up,
And I float along through this smoky haze.

How this city’s aged! – It is all but gray,
Only yesterday, the birds chirped their song,
And the sky was clear, only yesterday,
And the grass grew tall, and my will was strong.

We were mad in love, and our love was blind,
The express train rolled, skipping local stops,
Then one early night, I came home to find
Butter, but no toast…  Coffee, but no cups…

We used to laugh and sing, joined at the hip,
And the hours slipped, as though grains of sand,
We were two but one, - you were of my rib,
We were happy then, life was pleasant then.

We would lock ourselves in our tiny room,
With the curtains drawn, and the candle lit, -
Though we understood: we’d be parting soon,
We naively thought: we could handle it.

But the future came, and the stars aligned
In a way that caused parallels to cross…
And I lost you when I came home to find
Coffee, but no cups… Butter, but no toast…

[This message has been edited by Master (08-24-2010 05:55 PM).]

© Copyright 2010 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2010-08-24 02:52 PM

I like the progression.. and see the near rhymes you use to hold form..
all in all..a nice piece of writing!

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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
2 posted 2010-08-26 11:26 PM

First it is great reading you again, and I too enjoyed your very easy to follow progression.  An all to sad story often heard.
Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209
Southeastern USA
3 posted 2010-08-27 01:17 AM

Enjoyed reading this very much, although the subject is sad. Great composition.

Sounds like a well-considered journey to the grocery store is called for.

Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
4 posted 2010-08-27 08:18 AM

enjoyed reading you again~~

I have felt that way before but I woke up to an empty pizza box with a message scrawled across it attached to my door...


Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610

5 posted 2010-08-27 08:39 AM

I'm glad this came up again.

Enjoyed reading.


Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
6 posted 2010-08-28 09:40 PM

A quality piece worth the read.  Thanks for sharing. I hope you find that cup.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
7 posted 2010-08-29 03:50 AM

The sadness in this, grabs me by the throat, and tears well up in my eyes.  It is too beautifully sensitive, to ask the question that it begs.


Earl Brinkman
Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan
8 posted 2010-09-01 05:50 PM

A good piece that may have had a sad ending but the writing was solid.
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