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Open Poetry #46
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anya
Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393
London, UK

0 posted 2010-08-09 09:15 PM



It's the time of half-dreams
and muted static.
I bat my eyes at sleep
as we flit and trip
through the early hours.
A limbo lit by streelights
and the promise of dawn.


© Copyright 2010 Anne Hegarty - All Rights Reserved
easy1
Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209
Southeastern USA
1 posted 2010-08-09 09:47 PM


Very good.

Driving fatigued is not the pleasantest task.

Novus_Os
Member
since 2010-07-21
Posts 115
West Coast, USA
2 posted 2010-08-10 12:16 PM


This is a cool poem. It just goes to show that you can say a lot without saying a lot, if that makes any sense. I often find myself at this time of night/day (if I'm driving or just up) about the promise the day holds. I also wonder if I can make the most of that day before me. Very good.

Regards,

Novus_Os

Life is meant to be enjoyed, not just endured.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2010-08-10 01:30 AM


great write! Descriptive and powerful!

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
4 posted 2010-08-10 01:57 AM


Nicely done.. great portrayal of that woozy up-all-night feeling.. I cannot tell if the subject is walking or driving yet it does not matter, since it is so very well-said  
~Amaryllis

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

5 posted 2010-08-10 07:19 AM


It's the time of half-dreams
and muted static.


very descriptive of the hour..and a strong begining to a concise poem..

well done...

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2010-08-10 01:50 PM


Anya,

So much imagery in brief emotion...
all I can suggest as a critique
would be to watch your spelling.

Otherwise, wonderful!


Angel4aKing
Senior Member
since 2006-09-27
Posts 1372
USA
7 posted 2010-08-12 01:31 AM


I know this time a day all too well.....and the muted static can get pretty loud at times don't you think???

~~~kingsangel~~~

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
8 posted 2010-08-12 02:30 PM


anya - been there many times, nice write...

BC

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
9 posted 2010-08-15 06:06 PM


"the promise of dawn"

I love this tranquilizing conclusion, though probably it won't be witnessed ... as sleep will demand its righteous share.

You really let me see and feel that particular atmosphere.

Your words also brought memories in which I dwelled for a long moment.

Beautiful!

Love,
Margherita

anya
Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393
London, UK
10 posted 2010-08-15 06:29 PM


Thank you Margherita.

I do indeed see 'the promise of dawn' most days as I work nights and this was my musing on how it feels on a particularly slow evening!

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