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Open Poetry #46
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Scene 2: Failure of Night
| Open Poetry #46 |
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Scene 2: Failure of Night |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Noir would set the scene with grit In a seedy sort of club where women Dressed to please and men wore their hats pulled low To hide the color of their souls and shade eyes Not used to being lit by anything but the glow Of a half smoked stub that hung from lip Not understanding that kind of world And holding the failure of words on tongue tip Doesn’t make it easy to describe the way some phrases Stipple the greys of shadow, even at night Or how the nouns of possession are formed in vows Of verbs lost beneath the layers of living Like cold ash the darkness of this night is anointed On the forehead of those who believe in more Than stark farewells or the slice of stiletto verbs That bleed a heart or leave the gut Before they are tossed aside or wiped clean To be held in threat again when needs Or the lust arises Such my stumbled diction fails And the search along the brow is made To find the smudges left on those who have yet The way of words or turn of phrase As might describe the void that’s come with late hours And the memories of then Or dreams of how it might have been Still dreams Both prayer and confession in two words Has nothing to do with Noir Or the failure of night to add punctuation to these My meager words |
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| © Copyright 2010 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Ah yesss... a very fine follow up piece. Hoping you will continue. I particularly enjoyed the third section. Word for word... perfect! Though it was never spoken in the movie... "Play it again, Sam." "We'll chase them like rats across the tundra." |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I would guess you read a lot of Daschell Hammett or Raymond Chandler in your youth. You have a lot in common with them.. Very enjoyable read, sir. |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
To find the smudges left on those who have yet The way of words or turn of phrase As might describe the void that’s come with late hours And the memories of then Or dreams of how it might have been ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Your words are never, ever meager. They are felt deeply. You always get right to the heart of the matters, and convey them so eloquently. I'm glad your posting again, it's awful nice to have you here. |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
cpat...can smell the weed scent residue on their felt brim shadowry..cool stuff brochacho |
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bel1e Senior Member
since 2006-07-24
Posts 1631 |
Your descriptions are always so captivating, Chief |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Mr Scott, Glad you enjoyed the follow up and appreciate your looking in.. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Mr 'Deer Sir, Standard reading isn't it for young fellows? I appreciate your dropping in..and leaving a few words. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Ms Serenade... kind words...and I thank you for them. It is nice to have you here as well ma'am... I have always enjoyed your writing and it is a pleasure to read them again |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Mr Dark .... glad you found something in this to enjoy... to bad fedoras went out of style... I can easily picture some of the characters you've written fitting well into one. many thanks sir... much appreciated |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Ms. Belle... many thanks for looking in... and for the nice words. Captivating, coming from you is indeed a compliment. |
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