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Open Poetry #46
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martiniat8
Senior Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 897
Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic

0 posted 2010-08-05 04:36 AM



"Its a little bit funny, this feeling inside..."

How I look back, in my mind, my memory,
like a scrap book of images,
like a collection of old 8mm home videos

How the first time together, you were nervous,
playing with your scarf,
twirling it around your fingers,
looking up at the ceiling, trying to find the words,
the thoughts, the feelings, the language

trying to say it all
trying to put it all
together

How you were exposing your long, graceful neck
so tender, and sensitive

and perhaps you didn't see,
couldn't see
my nervousness
as my right hand reached down under the table
and I
I was...

twirling the soft, black handles of my bag

what do you call that?
mirroring?
chemistry?
nervous apprehension?

too shy to look each other in the eyes

and I remember how you got up
got up to go to the bathroom
and in the edge of my perception
I saw,
saw perhaps out of my field of view

even then,
even then that first night

you were staring at the top of my head
and I noticed
I became self concious
thinking you were seeing,
perhaps figuring out, wondering
if I was losing my hair

but no,
no, that wasn't it
it was curiosity,
fascination

like a child seeing something they had never seen before

and now, still now,
some 5 months and uncountable meetings later,
now...

I look in your eyes as we're speaking
and I'm saying something
and I catch you glancing
but no, not glancing
staring, lost in the curls of my hair

how you were afraid to touch them
and have grown a little bolder
rubbing one between your fingers
and then quickly putting your hands back at your side

like you were afraid

like I was some being from another planet
some animal,
some... Čert

and how I told you, it's ok
I want you to touch it

and you said, "no, I don't want to change your hairstyle"
I knew you were saying, "no, I don't want to mess it up"

but oh I do, "I want you to mess it up"
I did

and then, the last time I saw you
you were a little bit drunk
and a little more bold
pulling one or two out

saying, "ooh, this is a long one"

letting it go,
seeing it spring about
and back into place
and your smile of delight

maybe one got out of place
one was sticking out

and you stopped
finally patting me on the head
putting everything back into place

only to sigh deeply
that you had to go

not so long ago..


in those twirls...

and curls...

gone wild.

© Copyright 2010 Kenneth Bradley Smith - All Rights Reserved
icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
1 posted 2010-08-05 07:10 AM


Great title!

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2010-08-05 07:37 AM


well done...Like Icebox, I like the title, and your descriptions of the acts, the scene tell well the underlying tensions and the desire..

easy1
Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209
Southeastern USA
3 posted 2010-08-05 10:41 AM


I sort of expected a paean to a beautician or a female barber... but this is better, I am sure!  

As for hair loss and how it can be unjustly fomented, best I don't get started on that right now.

Nice descriptions of the author's lady friend's movements and socially-perceptible psychology.

Earl Brinkman
Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan
4 posted 2010-08-11 10:49 PM


What fascinated me about this piece was the playfulness between the two and the twirling of fingers.  Nice.
katahdin
Senior Member
since 2010-07-01
Posts 1196
ME. In the Shadow of the Mt.
5 posted 2010-08-11 11:41 PM


Very nice read
Kat >^..^<

Eterne
Member
since 2010-07-21
Posts 75
Quebec, Canada
6 posted 2010-08-14 07:47 PM


Reading your poem was like going through my first date with my love all over again.
Very nice!

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