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Open Poetry #46

the orange small van

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

0 posted 2010-07-11 05:15 AM

The orange small van vibrates
below the summer sun as a fruit
Abandoned by tourists.
Aboard linen dry on a strand
We can cook inside or warm
The philosophy of the 20th century,
We can sleep at night there
for expecting the daytime or new friends,
or to look for another work
Or run away from the cannibal city,
The orange small van vibrates
belowr the summer sun, it vibrates as
An intruder in the townscape.

easy1
Senior Member

since 2010-05-22

Posts 1209
Southeastern USA

1 posted 2010-07-12 04:48 PM

A VW minibus of a poem for the 21st Century... appreciated.

I like the discarded fruit line, and (of course) the last line is prescient.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2010-07-12 11:47 PM

Enjoyed.

The title made me think, and it prompted me to peek.

I kept thinking that I wanted to invert the adjectives for some reason, to "the small orange van"

and now I'm still thinking why my mind would want to do such a thing.

Thank you for sharing--the content itself was a surprise.

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

3 posted 2010-07-13 02:35 AM

Or run away from the cannibal city...interesting line, yann.
Ida

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

4 posted 2010-07-13 09:01 AM

thanks a lot easy 1 , the poem has been beautifully illustrated with a little orange van on a french site "l'oasis des artistes" you check in islander poems
have a nice day

yann

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

5 posted 2010-07-13 09:03 AM

thanks serenity blaze, may be it sounds more musical to write the way you talked, don't know , the two are logical , now the site has frozen the poem, so it is too late.

yann

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

6 posted 2010-07-13 09:04 AM

Thanks Ida for the appreciating comment.

have a nice day

yann

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