disapprobation - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Open Poetry #46

disapprobation

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

0 posted 2010-06-19 04:45 AM

I looked at the world,
the world disappointed me,
I closed eyes and fell in the river,
I drowned myself surrounded with absurd persons,
where is my raft?

She one who murmurs to the soul
silences the threatening faces….

easy1
Senior Member

since 2010-05-22

Posts 1209
Southeastern USA

1 posted 2010-06-19 07:42 AM

This works pretty well imho, but it would certainly be possible for you to extend this poem and expand your description of the absurd persons, and the one who silences the threatening faces, etc. I hope you do decide to compose a longer work upon these lines.

LindsayP
Member Elite

since 2007-07-28

Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria

2 posted 2010-06-19 09:40 PM

All I can say Yann is thank God you didn't

Drown. Glad to see you here.

Lindsay

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

3 posted 2010-06-20 01:18 PM

Hi easy, thanks for the interest and the tip, I will think about it but the site freezes the poem very soon...Sometimes to my eyes it is good to veil part of the poem, including generalities or mysteries...I thank you again for the precious comment and the friendly tip...

regards

yann

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

4 posted 2010-06-20 01:19 PM

Thanks Lindsay, I appreciate the comment and humor of yours...

have a nice day

yann

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.