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N|D|N|C|Lost-Poet
Member

since 2009-07-30

Posts 360
New Orleans

0 posted 2010-06-09 04:08 AM

i wish i could find a way
to touch the sky
steal a star
make it twinkle in my eye
chisel myself out of granite
marble- so utterly remarkable
so when you pause
stare at me
watch me break
watch me fall
and ill shatter
and who'd have known?
when i close my eyes
i see them
like living lies
syllables hit by every beat
my heart strains its melody
so intentionally
the feather floats on the wind
so heavenly
though it is its own
it is your hair
so perfectly
laid on perfection
so utterly

speechless

and when i awake,
i see you glistening under the sun,
sharp breath intake,

the song lingers still
so i rush to write
the inspiration filled the room
much like sunlight

but then pain

it takes its hold,
oh,
though i can write
simple words of gold
my heart sings a tune
that i could never hold

maybe i cant
sing a single a key
but i can sigh
an entire symphony

Amaryllis
Senior Member

since 2010-05-20

Posts 1306
Mi now

1 posted 2010-06-09 04:17 AM

I love it..! First off, the title is great, and I like the familiar scene of waking from a dream & rushing to write.. love the last 2 lines, also.. wonderful write

~Amaryllis

Kethry D
Member

since 2010-04-12

Posts 64
Australia

2 posted 2010-06-09 04:22 AM

I can relate to the last two lines.

A poet must leave traces of his passing not proof.

Rene Char

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

3 posted 2010-06-09 08:43 AM

lovely, lovely last line, says me, the lover of the knock out ending. Your ending was gentle but powerful. My memory is deplorable, but it reminded me of an old jazz title: "Mighty like a rose".

Very touching.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

4 posted 2010-06-09 08:06 PM

Excellent...James

N|D|N|C|Lost-Poet
Member

since 2009-07-30

Posts 360
New Orleans

5 posted 2010-06-10 01:42 AM

Thank you for the replies, everyone. Really didn't expect any feedback at all. Just wrote it here because I couldn't find a pencil.

Andrew Scott
Member Elite

since 1999-06-24

Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA

6 posted 2010-06-13 07:39 PM

Worthy of several reads. Thanks for sharing.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

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