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Open Poetry #46
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Artic Dreams
| Open Poetry #46 |
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Artic Dreams |
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firechild Junior Member
since 2009-05-18
Posts 14 |
he just stood there.. Immersed within himself quietly mystified in the absence of soothing words and pierced by daggers of deception as it rained seeping through marshlands of reason hopelessly astray like the answers he so desperately need seek now strewn among arctic winds as it howl, swirl upon the fabric of time silence the cries of his tortured soul… |
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| © Copyright 2010 firechild - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
Welcome to PIP! Ohhh, how desolate and lonely .. Home seems far when your heart breaks and the rain is within as well as without and there is not place to turn. You painted the scene so well written and I was drawn right into the isolation and sadness instantly! (I do have one suggestion: changing the words "need" and "seek" to past tense unifies the poem with prior lines. If it were my poem, I would use the word "sought" once to replace both words.) Karen  |
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noman Junior Member
since 2009-12-26
Posts 18 |
I like this. |
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