a broken stencil (hating the friends of friends)

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Open Poetry #46

a broken stencil (hating the friends of friends)

rebmemer
New Member

since 2010-01-18

Posts 7

0 posted 2010-01-18 01:25 AM

an unexpected circumstance
seized upon the chance
a bright smile
which hazel eyes enhance

they criticize the practice
and reinvent the past
painting watercolor history
the failure of romance

I didn't like the business
but that was at first glance
uncertain feet sound soft now
but still they must advance
the lines of lips post-modern as
they partner in the dance

skoolyardturtle
Member

since 2005-06-28

Posts 96

1 posted 2010-01-18 03:07 AM

wow, no one replies to first posts anymore?
I enjoyed this. I'm not very good at critiquing, but I just wanted to let you know. Welcome to PiP.

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

2 posted 2010-01-18 03:15 AM

I think this is a really good poem. I like how it rhymes and I like how it reads when I read it out loud. I disagree that no one responds to first posts - sometimes, we don't respond immediately, but they are responded to. Welcome to PiP. I truly look forward to reading more of your poetry.

Alison

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

3 posted 2010-01-18 12:32 PM

Greetings, Rebmemer

The following lines are my favourite!

~ "painting watercolor history
the failure of romance"

~ "the lines of lips post-modern as
they partner in the dance"

Creatively descriptive!

Enjoyed your debuting poem!

Giving you a warm, welcoming pip hug,
Earth Angel

www.lindadowd.com

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