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Open Poetry #46
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not laughing
| Open Poetry #46 |
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not laughing |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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Far, the far far fathoming flippers fanned and fluttering and a tube of oxygen enhance these coral flowerings as I watch the neons sing abruptly changing minds as one-- blues with pink stripes beckoning turn as if they had received a simple morse-code reckoning flipping them like coins as we watch them all swim separately together, turning, not laughing exactly sweetly synchronized A change of mind abrupt, as we in love with lies watch them swim the other way as if all they wore matching strings of grinner's synchronicity dancing in the arts as we wish invisibility think we know reality blinking in neon. |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
well...I always love different formats, so this one automatically touched me. This one has so much more to like, though. As always, words to make one think and the visuals tied to those words are so cool...thank you for sharing. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thank you Steven. I was playing with the alliterative stuff--and I'm thinking that maybe the alliterative device is probably like wearing make up--too much, and you look like you're in drag? (Not you personally of course.  )Anyhow, I just love watching a school of neons swimming, and this is what came out.  I appreciate your time and thoughts very much.  |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: Inspiration swims in the right direction with your profoundly captivating words. Love, Margherita |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
I liked the alliterative stuff and the form and this is my favorite: "blues with pink stripes beckoning turn as if they had received a simple morse-code reckoning" |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
This is another gem, and uniquely Karen, of course. I wish I was still an English teacher. I would ask you if I may use this for my pupils to discuss. It is amazing what such excellent poetry evokes in young minds. Owl |
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