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Open Poetry #47
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Not a Dream
| Open Poetry #47 |
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Not a Dream |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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Daddy, oh Dad...I want to come home. This city's too big and I'm all alone. Please don't tell Mom, but I lied to her. I'm not a success. I feel like I'm cursed. Everyone here seems to talk so damned fast. They move the same way. I'm just an outcast. I am just some thing standing right in their way. They bump into me--and the things that they say cut me and hurt me and make me feel bad. Daddy, oh Daddy, I'm feeling so sad. I slept in the street without sleeping at all. I've been so afraid that the buildings will fall. These people are mean and they don't look at me. I think I need someone to help me to be stronger than now, while I get on my feet. Dad? Are you there? I-am-so sorry. Daddy? Oh Dad. I wish you would come home. The city's too big. And we're all alone. * * * http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRJQLzc-bco |
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| © Copyright 2011 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
A prayer of the mean streets played out in countless cities and downtown's across the fruited plain. The last line makes me think of dad as being a disappearing pimp. Gotta love it. You took on the street edge and addressed it as it was meant to be addressed, with fright. . . ~~ "Government is not reason; it is not eloquent. It is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master." --George Washington ~~ |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
 I woke up Sunday morning, crying, with my remote control in my hands, next to my ear. My father, and my father-in-law had passed away mere weeks before 9-11. It's still all mixed up in my mind, and this is one of those things I needed to get out of me. I never really came to terms with all of it...the "pimp" thing is kind of funny to me now. I always did feel like I was prostituting my (and others') emotions. But thank you Jerry. You always did help me to feel a little less alone. and *helpless shrug* The title came from the song, and yes, I know it ends rudely before it actually ends. That's why I chose that particular rendition.  Yer a doll. |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Again. I COMPLETELY missed your premise. I think I will quit trying. It is getting embarrassing. ~~ "Government is not reason; it is not eloquent. It is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master." --George Washington ~~ |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Jer? I am the one who should be embarrassed. I think I write too personally. *hearthugs* |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
I am so sorry for this pain, Karen. You should not be embarrassed for writing personally. All of your friends, I am sure, as I do, want to share your sorrows and your joys. Owl |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
(((((hugs))))) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Ty... and that's my Dad's Haband shirt I'm wearing in my pic. I miss him so much... |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Heartwrenching, dear Karen. Love and hugs. Margherita |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=murYvyEzpUM |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
Very deep write, for sure. Enjoyed. JL  Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself. |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Karen...I can relate to this , because when I was younger and away from home working most of the time my daughter use to call me all the time and ask me when I was coming home. That really pulled at my heart strings. I guess that is why we are so close today, even as adults she still says she misses not talking to me when we go just 2-3 days without talking. Stay sweet and keep writing the way you do... Paul ~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~ |
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luminosity Senior Member
since 2005-11-18
Posts 813 |
"I think I need someone to help me to be stronger than now" Lucky are the ones who find help powerful write |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Paullie? I totally forgot to hug you last time. Not too late, is it? Thank you all.  And something's been bugging me about this poem, and now I know what it is--I think I wrote it to the nursery rhyme-- "Ladybug, ladybug, fly away home..." mercy and merci  I'm a mess.  |
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flash Member
since 2010-11-28
Posts 213miami beach, florida |
Sorry to hear about your loss..it's good to let your emotions out--during times of sorrow. Big city life can be lonesome, too. I once wrote a haiku: lonsome city streets no one making eye contact except beggars! Enjoyed the read, flash |
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theladypoet21 New Member
since 2011-09-13
Posts 8Ohio, USA |
I really liked this poem. It got to me. I felt connected in a way that I couldn't be because I have never been through that. www.facebook.com/poemsfromtheheart |
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ebonygirl Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000California U.S.A |
WOW, Serenity, pure and raw, Ms.E |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I kept the phone service at the farm for as long as I could afford to do so... in part because I'd call that number. I knew no one would answer (I always disconnected the phone and hid it so someone didn't go in and give me a phone bill I really couldn't afford *S*) but hearing that ring somehow made him seem... reachable. And I definitely understand scrambling events... which is just to say... whatever the inspiration, you've written a poem that touches deeply. |
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