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JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana

0 posted 2011-08-22 05:07 PM


I know of a spot where time has forgot,
Boulevards are airy, taken with Chablis,
Lawns are like meadows, spongy like dough,
The sun burns mushrooms into candy plums,
Gives way to the moon, tonight so maroon,
A gentle wind puffs, and thinks its hot stuff

This place that I know, everyone's called Joe,
Streets are full of gin and we are all twins,
Its a magic place, where clocks have no face,
Here everything's free; just ask the fir tree,
Where there are no fights, for everyone's right,
I can have winter, you can have summer.

We have no homes, we have whispering domes,
Everywhere we go, Angels are our beaux's,
They are serene and their names are Jean,
And we play hopscotch as the pixie's watch,
A cheerful place, full of charm and grace,
We're not Camelot, gone with a head shot.



~ Man who stands on toilet is high on pot. ~

[This message has been edited by JerryPat2 (08-22-2011 07:50 PM).]

© Copyright 2011 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2011-08-22 05:46 PM


quote:
We have no homes, we have whispering domes


This sounds indeed charming, dear Jerry. I have read your poem more than once and every time I focus a little better the mysterious place. Johns and Jeans ... equality, well expressed. A place out of time where "live and let live" seems a law applied.

As there are also Angels around it gives me a sense of safety.  

It is a captivating piece, dear Jerry.

Love,
Margherita

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
2 posted 2011-08-22 05:58 PM


I have definitely lived in worse places, my friend...well done,

j.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
3 posted 2011-08-22 05:59 PM


A poem such as this, Margherita , it is read and interpreted different ways. Good to see that yours is exquisite. Thank you for being here.

~ Man who stands on toilet is high on pot. ~

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
4 posted 2011-08-22 06:00 PM


Thanks, J, haven't we all?

~ Man who stands on toilet is high on pot. ~

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
5 posted 2011-08-22 06:12 PM


Sounds like Grand Isle, LA.

Enjoyed the read.

JL


JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
6 posted 2011-08-22 07:19 PM


Haha!! Grand Isle!? Gotta love it . . . Thanks for being here, J.L.

~ Man who stands on toilet is high on pot. ~

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
7 posted 2011-08-22 07:52 PM


Jerry...Sounds lovely if it was a vacation and not forever. The last line took me out of the dream-like feel of the rest of the poem. Enjoyed it while it lasted...and maybe that's the point
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
8 posted 2011-08-22 07:59 PM


Martie, thank you for your comments. You are the first one to bring up the last line. I'm not sure you understood it, but at least you saw there was something different there. Think Camelot / JFK White House / Assassination

~ Man who stands on toilet is high on pot. ~

Prasad Nataraj
Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149
Bangalore,India
9 posted 2011-08-23 02:56 AM


"Its a magic place, where clocks have no face,
Here everything's free; just ask the fir tree,
Where there are no fights, for everyone's right,
I can have winter, you can have summer"

Fairy tales! Fine lines, especially mention of the fir tree reminds me of Anderson's works.Fine writing, Jerry, in many ways!

"The secret behind survival of mankind is kindness and love within our hearts"

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
10 posted 2011-08-23 07:26 AM


Appreciate it, Prasad, thank you very muh.

~ Man who stands on toilet is high on pot. ~

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
11 posted 2011-08-23 08:17 AM


The last line threw me too. Gave me the idea it was the heaven after the "head shot"
not knowing if it was self inflicted or what.  This is not your usual fare Jerry and I like the different flavor here.
Lori

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
12 posted 2011-08-23 08:41 AM


Thank you Lori, good to see you. The "head shot" was the bullet that went through President Kennedy's head that day in Dallas.

~ Man who stands on toilet is high on pot. ~

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
13 posted 2011-08-26 06:07 PM


Fine writing...James
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
14 posted 2011-08-26 06:09 PM


Thanks, James.

~ I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. ~

ebonygirl
Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000
California U.S.A
15 posted 2011-08-26 09:25 PM


Enjoyed Jerry, liked the storyline, you did it well.
Ms. E

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
16 posted 2011-08-26 09:37 PM


Thanks, Ms E, I appreciate it.

~ I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. ~

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