One Kiss - Villanelle - pipTalk Forums

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JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

0 posted 2011-07-23 01:46 PM

Would you allow me just one kiss?
Would you accept from me one try?
I'll understand if I'm dismissed.

I know that your kiss will be bliss,
Tender kiss on your lips and sigh,
Would you allow me just one kiss?

Maybe in time we'll reminisce,
Of our first kiss and we might cry,
I'll understand if I'm dismissed.

Please don't leave me in this abyss,
I'm offering to make your heart fly,
Would you allow me just one kiss?

I'll fall on bended knee like this,
I'll sprinkle stardust in the sky.
I'll understand if I'm dismissed.

Oh, please from me do not resist,
Oh, just one kiss will give me chi.
Would you allow me just one kiss?
I'll understand if I'm dismissed

~ money can't buy happiness, but broke can't buy anything. ~

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

1 posted 2011-07-23 02:38 PM

You're a braver man than I am, Jerry.

You did a fine job on this villanelle. I was gonna post one of these too, really I was but, um, the dog ate it.

Yeah, that's it... the dog ate it.

Good work, and don't dismiss yourself so easily, bud.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

2 posted 2011-07-23 02:53 PM

Thanks, I wouldn't go so far as to say I was brave, hardheaded, maybe. I figure if I keep trying I'll finally the the damn form correct. Appreciate the nice words . . .

~ money can't buy happiness, but broke can't buy anything. ~

Oklahoma Rose
Senior Member

since 2008-02-28

Posts 1586
Oklahoma USA

3 posted 2011-07-24 01:15 PM

This is a beautiful villanelle. One of my favorite forms of poetry.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

4 posted 2011-07-24 01:35 PM

Many thanks, Oklahoma Rose, I have been trying for about a year now to "get" the villanelle correctly. I'm getting close I think. Hopefully, and I love the form also.

~ Money can't buy happiness, but broke can't buy anything. ~

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

5 posted 2011-07-25 09:20 AM

Why of course Jerry, how sweet of you to ask!

Lori

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

6 posted 2011-07-25 10:41 AM

Thanks, Lori, I'll be at our favorite meeting place.

~ Money can't buy happiness, but broke can't buy anything. ~

ebonygirl
Member Elite

since 2011-07-14

Posts 2000
California U.S.A

7 posted 2011-07-25 03:50 PM

Just one kiss, you may try!
Well done JerryPat2.
ebonygirl

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

8 posted 2011-07-25 04:37 PM

One kiss from your sweet lips is all I would need, ebonygirl. Thank you for being here.

~ Money can't buy happiness, but broke can't buy anything. ~

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