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Open Poetry #47
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Asphalt Asphyxiation
| Open Poetry #47 |
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Asphalt Asphyxiation |
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exhale Senior Member
since 2003-06-13
Posts 646Alberta,Canada 
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Asphalt asphyxiation tell me is it hard to breathe with your head to the ground? running hard fast pulse what hunts you? what haunts you? if you stop to breathe, what will collide? what will implode. what are you holding so tight? red hands blue veins what are you keeping so tight lock and key you can keep running but I don't see you going anywhere. |
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| © Copyright 2011 Chelsea - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Enjoyed your profound and poetic ponderings here, dear Chelsea! Very creative. Love, Margherita |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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AlCowie Member
since 2011-05-13
Posts 92London, UK |
Enjoyed, where "less is more" for a view! |
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Brian James Member
since 2005-06-26
Posts 147Winnipeg |
I have no critiques to offer. It's vague and quiet about itself, like a nightmare, and that's why it made me think of nightmares. I like the "what are you?" style, it adds a lot to the mystery. You're writing about something strange and foreign that is unknown to you but is at least worth your poetry. Reminds me a lot of Stephen Crane's poetry, and even a little of that Tom Waits song "What's he building in there?" Nicely written & looking forward to reading another one of yours. "To me, the thing that art does for life is to clean it, to strip it to form." |
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