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Open Poetry #47
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Confound the Rain ( Villanelle)
| Open Poetry #47 |
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Confound the Rain ( Villanelle) |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Confound the rain's incessant patter The covers tossed in sleepless wrestling It's taunting me with all that mattered Among those thoughts gone skitter-scatter Remove these pictures, I'm requesting Confound the rain's incessant patter A future, laughs, and chitter-chatter Two lovers spent, content with nestling It's taunting me with all that mattered How can one think with all this clatter No doubt, my sanity it's testing Confound the rain's incessant patter Another image torn and tattered Your slumbering form lay peaceful, resting It's taunting me with all that mattered Such are these broken dreams gone shattered Alone, with just this noise, sequestering Confound the rain's incessant patter It's taunting me with all that mattered. |
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| © Copyright 2011 William E.Kleist - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
You did a fantastic job, dear William! I think I am going to read it once again right now ... it is hauntingly beautiful.  Love, Margherita |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Very well done Villanelle. I just love the line, "It's taunting me with all that mattered." ~ Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly. ~ |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Margherita, That is so kind of you to say, thank you. Personally, I think this may be one of my best efforts at a most difficult form, but hey, maybe that's just me. Doc JerryPat2, Thanks for revisiting. I did say I would do this, what I didn't know was that I would actually be pleased with the results. More often than not, I'm not, this one was an exception. Thanks again. Doc |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I do think this is one of your best efforts, Dr. Moose. Enjoyed it very much. Ida |
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s1nfully_1nn0c3nt Senior Member
since 2003-10-26
Posts 1105Watertown, NY |
Eh, the rain has that taunting effect - reminding you of all that matters, too bad it always comes too late. Enjoyed. -Trina |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Ida, Thanks, I've actually only done a handful of these ( most of which I never posted ). To try and make all the repetition work is just too demanding, but I do like the challenge occasionally. Doc Trina, Thanks for the reply. Here I tried to tie in the repetitive nature of the sound of the rain with the structure of the format. As with most couples, who has not enjoyed the sound of the rain in love's aftermath, but, once seperated, cursed it for bringing back those memories? Doc |
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easy1 Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209Southeastern USA |
Excellently done, and I appreciate your use of a classic form. Sometimes with rain (and other things) it can be feast or famine. |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
easy1, Lol, I can certainly relate to that. Here in "Bewiderment" we have just registered our wettest April ever ( since they started keeping records ). Anybody got a spare towel? Doc [This message has been edited by Dr.Moose1 (04-30-2011 11:46 PM).] |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Doc, I read this when I was on vacation and could not really reply. I love it and believe that you wove the lines beautifully. I love Villanelles and don't think I have really written a good one yet. I keep trying. This is great. Alison |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
My Dear Alison, Tyvm. It is not often I try to address the more serious subjects (go figure),but once in a while I like to break free of the "Joker's" mold and throw something out there which might be construed as actual poetry. If it works, great, if it doesn't, great. If it works for me, well, then again, that's why I'm here . Doc |
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