Open Poetry #47 |
Wide Awake Dream (Haibun) |
JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Haibun is a combination of prose strong in imagery and at least one haiku (I prefer synru). The prose in a haibun is trimmed to its essence just as a synru is composed of few words chosen for their particular meaning. A haibun relates a journey, whether the travels are a physical exploration of the world or an internal journey of discovery. Often haibun contain a revelation or epiphany obtained through experience. The prose can reflect fragmented thoughts or complete sentences, but the sentences are tight with all the words serving a purpose. dreams can be bloody sometimes they come straight from hell gives me no respite I fought sleep on this foul night, felt it in my bones things were not right. I sat alone in my beloved easy chair while my woman snuggled into the bed we share. Not tonight will I repose beside her, for I smell the sickening, odoriferous smell of myrrh. The easy chair was comfy and made me doze, a voice whispered he's the one we chose. running from the smell to the front porch swing I went the old one had spoke I pushed the swing, made it squeak, squeak, squeak, heard the water bubbling in the creek. A cold night it was and I was wide awake while something inside my chest made me ache. Wasn't afraid, it would be her they would get, they would be relentless and never quit. Oh, my, this feeling I know I've felt before, the old hag has outsmarted me I can feel the gore. at the stroke of one a wooden stake through the heart I'm no more, I die ~ At the siege of Vienna in 1683 Islam seemed poised to overrun Christian Europe. We are in a new phase of a very old war. ~ [This message has been edited by JerryPat2 (04-15-2011 10:53 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2011 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved | |||
katahdin Senior Member
since 2010-07-01
Posts 1196ME. In the Shadow of the Mt. |
I enjoyed this very much! I had never heard of this style before but I like it. Looking foward to see it again. Kat >^..^< ~*~ To live is to love, to love is to live ~*~ |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I appreciate it, Kat. I'm always looking around for something different. ~ At the siege of Vienna in 1683 Islam seemed poised to overrun Christian Europe. We are in a new phase of a very old war. ~ |
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dreamgal Member
since 2011-03-17
Posts 442 |
This was a good write Jerry, and a good read. It was different and I like that. Makes for a creative and interesting author. Dreamgal |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Thank you for your lovely comments, Dreamgal. ~ At the siege of Vienna in 1683 Islam seemed poised to overrun Christian Europe. We are in a new phase of a very old war. ~ |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Very nice my friend... enjoyed the explanation of what it is too. j. |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Thanks j, for just being here. ~ At the siege of Vienna in 1683 Islam seemed poised to overrun Christian Europe. We are in a new phase of a very old war. ~ |
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faithmairee Senior Member
since 2011-01-05
Posts 1441Poe Haven, USA |
i've written a few of these myself just haven't posted them..i enjoyed yours a lot, JerrPat There must be a poem in here somewhere. |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Why not post them, Faith? What could happen? That someone would say, "Damn, Faith isn't afraid to go out on a limb with her poetry?" I like the Haibun, and I know my style of writing it isn't the way they are supposed to be written, but I like the way I do it better than how it is supposed to be one. I use the senryu instead of the haiku, and in this one I rhymed the narrative also, which isn't supposed to happen. Thanks for stopping by Faith. ~ At the siege of Vienna in 1683 Islam seemed poised to overrun Christian Europe. We are in a new phase of a very old war. ~ |
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ken206573 Member
since 2008-10-14
Posts 487 |
Never heard of this poem style. Yet I did enjoy each line. Enjoyed to the fullest. |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Thanks, Ken, I hadn't heard of it either until about two months ago. I kinda liked what I saw and figured I'd give it a shot. This is my third one. ~ At the siege of Vienna in 1683 Islam seemed poised to overrun Christian Europe. We are in a new phase of a very old war. ~ |
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EmmaRose Senior Member
since 2011-03-02
Posts 1376Midwest |
Short and powerful slices of life |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Thanks, EmmaRose, I appreciate it. ~ Don't insult the alligator till after you cross the river. ~ |
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Word Weaver Member
since 2011-03-06
Posts 437California, USA |
You've definitely mastered this genre Jerry. I really enjoyed it. Write On~ Marcia |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Hah! Don't know so much about mastering it, but I admit I do like the genre, Marcia, and I'm sure I'll be going back to it. Thanks for your sweet comments. ~ Don't insult the alligator till after you cross the river. ~ |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Very interesting. Much enjoyed, Jerry. Well done! Owl |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Appreciate you reading and commenting, Owl . . . Thanks a bunch. ~ Don't insult the alligator till after you cross the river. ~ |
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faithmairee Senior Member
since 2011-01-05
Posts 1441Poe Haven, USA |
i just may do that, JerryPat...enjoyed reading yours a lot There must be a poem in here somewhere. |
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