Open Poetry #45 |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere ![]() |
I was driving and had you captive in my car You always liked to go wherever the road took us But I knew there was a hotel west of town Maybe you knew what you were in for “No strings” I promised, regretting those words I didn’t want to scare you away We chuckled at the drunken moves of dancing people As the alcohol muddied our self~consciousness Then drove to the park and made out in my car Fumbling, trembling, not from tight quarters, but newness and lust “I want to make you feel like a woman” you said And that sounded so good to me We didn’t return to the respectable hotel You with your disc jockey pay But checked in to the nearest daily~rate In the seedier side of town I didn’t care; it was clean and I felt like a princess next to you Me not knowing how this moment would define me Now with more room, we got down to business It was all that you said it would be You with your moves and me with my heart Something you don’t just give out, given to me I’m pretty sure you didn’t hear this, but before I fell asleep I whispered that I loved you The next morning we didn’t look each other in the eye Awkward silence as I drove you to your car “I need you in my life” I said Each mile lessening the hold on you I had I kissed your cheek; you already lost in your thoughts I watched in horror as you slipped away As you got into your car I remember thinking “I’ve never felt like less of a woman”. ~I am the keeper of what he cast off~ |
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© Copyright 2009 shellie - All Rights Reserved | |||
brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
oops...forgot to add that this is from "Songs from the time of Kren Shaw" |
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suthern![]() ![]()
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
“I need you in my life” I said Each mile lessening the hold on you I had I kissed your cheek; you already lost in your thoughts I watched in horror as you slipped away As you got into your car I remember thinking “I’ve never felt like less of a woman”. Oh... this gets to me, big time. *S* It's rather amazing how a person can make you feel like queen of the world one minute and then make you feel like you've been dropped straight into the nearest garbage can... so they couldn't possibly want to be rid of you more than you'd love to be rid of yourself. Gritty, powerful... fantastic write! *S* |
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Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana |
This was fantastic reading. Gripping. You have a great talent at story telling. |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
thank you, suthern and guy!! i wrote it this morning...amazing the things that the thought of this man still pulls from me ten years later. ~I am the keeper of what he cast off~ |
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Alison![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I believe that poetry is good when it transports us to a time, feeling or event in our lives - well, I believe that is one thing that makes poetry. I felt all in this poetry. There was this man, one night, learning to play backgammon, laughing (the sex wasn't all that good - but the rest was wonderful -- he couldn't help it that he was a better backgammon player than lover) ~ grins. Love this one. A |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
~thanks for sharing, A...glad you liked it! |
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