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Open Poetry #45
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Short Attention Span Blues (Etheree from the Poetry Workshop)
| Open Poetry #45 |
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Short Attention Span Blues (Etheree from the Poetry Workshop) |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! 
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Once his arms held her close. Bodies kept warm; dancing private songs, lost within sexual charms. Captivated by his grace, her heart hammered out love’s alarm. Senses blind to faults he kept at bay, giving herself with no regard to harm. While he shaped her like clay within his hands until her confidence caved away. She once lit up like Chinese lamps, laughter spilling; her face gay. Happy times now long gone, cruelly pushed away. Lonely woman left today … it’s his way. . Alison /pip/Forum22/HTML/001001.html |
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| © Copyright 2009 Alison - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana |
Damn, this was cool. A sad one though. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
wow Alison, this is beautiful...and so emotional...hit on some memories ya did!  |
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Oklahoma Rose Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586Oklahoma USA |
You did a great job on this one, my friend. And, it brought back memories. |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thank you, CG. I was thinking about Aunt Patience in the book, Jamaica Inn. Alison - SEA, Thank you lots. xoxoxo Alison - Sue, Thank you too, darlin' friend. xoxoxo Alison |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Not only did you do the assignment perfectly, you wove an excellent and touching story....nicely done! (all of those nights of staying after class paid off!)  |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thank you, my friend. I have been working on meter and I think it's finally clicking. If I stayed after it was only because you never put a time limit on helping me. xoxoxo Alison |
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Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana |
Aunt Patience? Jamaica Inn? I am not familiar, sorry. |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
very interesting and effective! MUCH applause for this 'penning' !! |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo dear Alison, Short attention spans can be very dangerous things. Love Bobby |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Well, gonna have to duplicate what I told Maureen...'cause it fits... Envious of those of you that can write structured...in any form, and write a beautiful piece at the same time. I can't...heck I even failed at getting the Cranial Challenge right! Now how can I justify .... oh, I know, it's my wife's fault! She wasn't here and I couldn't think straight without her around. j. |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
Alison my dear that is a lovely poem although a trifle sad. It just goes to show that some men cannot be trusted. Better luck next time. love Lindsay |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Excellent writing, Alison. Very touching. Ida |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
A sad story, well-told in an interesting, uncommon poetic form! You are a very versatile write, Ali Girl! Loveya! Linda Lou  |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
You choose a sad topic, dear Alison, you touch the heart with this one and of course the challenge is perfectly met. Love, Margherita |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
I shall have to read the book that inspired this beautiful work of poetry. Thank you for sharing it with us, Z. Arana Darkwolf |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
She once lit up like Chinese lamps, ~love this! |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Balladeer, I can't thank you enough for the time that you have spent helping me with my poetry. So, I'll just keep trying --- Thank you. Alison - CG, Jamaica Inn is a book written by Daphne DuMaurier (I think I got her name right). Anyway, it's a wonderful book and it's been on my mind lately. Alison - Bruce, Thank you. You always make me smile. Alison - Bobby, Yep, they can for sure. xoxoxo Alison - Jimmy, I am not sure that I can write structured poetry, but I am trying. Thank you, my dear friend. xoxox Alison - Lindsay, Yes, it's a sad one. Not about me though if that helps. Hugs to you, Alison - Thank you, dear Ida. A - Thank you, Lindy Lou. I love you too. xoxoxo Ali-boo - Margherita, Hugs and kisses to you. Thank you. xoxoxo Alison - I think you'll like it a lot, Rachael. Thank you, sweetie. xoxoxo Z - brneyedgrly Thank you too. I do so appreciate your comments. Alison |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
How could I have missed a title like this for so long? *S* I'm glad it finally drew me in... this is wonderful work! *S* |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I am glad that it drew you in too - and I am glad that you told me that it did. Thank you so much. xoxoxo Alison |
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naturegirl Member
since 2009-09-30
Posts 168England |
ouch that touched a nerve, gladly long gone & now in happier times. lovely. p.s. if you haven't read "Rebecca" by the same author, it's a very good book, also "Frenchman's Creek" |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Oh yes! Frenchmen's Creek is one of my all time favorite books .. I loved Rebecca too. Thank you for understanding. Alison |
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