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Open Poetry #45
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AncientHippie
Member
since 2009-10-15
Posts 411
Surfing the Cosmic Flow

0 posted 2009-11-03 02:09 PM




His muttered dialogue with Jesus
was apologetic and respectful,
politely drawing that Deity's attention
to cosmic oversights.

The supermarket cart,
full of strange lumps and extrusions,
seemed a natural extension of self.
His eyes never viewed
a potential acquisition directly:
they fluttered, like children's wishes,
skirting the object of desire,
until, overcome by belief,
he would pounce.

The temperature drop,
that negated the meagre warmth
of the hot air vent that was his home,
temporarily interrupted
his celestial conversation.

In the thin morning light,
the cart stands guard
over the still and huddled body,
like some alien monument
commemorating a battle
few have known.    

    
From "Anger in the Street" series

"We are stardust:  we are golden:  and we've got to get ourselves back to the garden."  --Joni Mitchell "Woodstock"

© Copyright 2009 James D. Fanning - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2009-11-04 09:11 AM


Dear Jim, I have read this several times and each time I felt it with greater intensity. I think your masterful rendering and sharing of this deplorable case is an answer in itself to the questions sent up to Heaven by this poor man.

Not the "cosmic oversights" but  the failure of humans to love each other, to share with their neighbours, that is the weak point and makes us feel the inadequacy of our economic system too.

Excellent work, that tugs at the heartstrings.

Love,
Margherita

WindWalker12
Member
since 2009-10-17
Posts 57

2 posted 2009-12-03 12:36 PM


I love this one!!!!!
The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
3 posted 2009-12-07 11:16 PM




sensitive and well done...

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
4 posted 2009-12-08 05:53 AM


well balanced discourse and deeply moving.  Thanks for the very thoughtful poem.

regards

yann

GBride
Senior Member
since 2009-07-02
Posts 538

5 posted 2009-12-10 07:25 PM


Deeply moving.
12 inches of snow at our place in Nebraska.
The food bowl for the stray cats still contains untouched cat food. There is no trail of footprints. It will be 7 below tonight.
I'm hoping the strays will not join this man in heaven.
Thanks for the touching poem!

AncientHippie
Member
since 2009-10-15
Posts 411
Surfing the Cosmic Flow
6 posted 2009-12-11 08:11 AM


Thank you all for your kind comments.
Namaste
Jim

"We are stardust:  we are golden:  and we've got to get ourselves back to the garden."  --Joni Mitchell "Woodstock"

Capricious
Member
since 2002-09-14
Posts 89
California, USA
7 posted 2009-12-11 10:59 AM


His eyes never viewed
a potential acquisition directly:
they fluttered, like children's wishes,


LOVE these lines.  A perfect simile.

Looking forward to reading more of you.  I've always had a soft spot for hippies.  

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