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Open Poetry #45
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Kosmic888
Junior Member
since 2009-11-01
Posts 29
Vancouver Canada

0 posted 2009-11-01 12:15 PM


Like in a dream
I allow myself to drift
On an empty shore
Then made to dance
Alone, in solitude
Led by the rhythm of a sacred verse
Penned in the shadow of a rose
Moist with morning dew
Washing over me
In wave upon wave
Of honeysuckle fragrance
And strawberry breath

Whispering:
“come, come deep
in love’s warm passage
where my flame will dissolve
you in me
and my kisses shall wash away
the empty shores of
ever feeling alone
my love…”

©2008 'Diary Of A Pen Warrior'


'we are all connected by strings of light'

© Copyright 2009 J Ronald Gildart - All Rights Reserved
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
1 posted 2009-11-01 01:13 PM


Welcome to Passion In Poetry.  It appears you bring a wealth of poetic knowledge with you, others will surly enjoy if they are asking for critique.  

This is a wonderfully written first posting.

Please check your email for a welcome from us all here.

Kosmic888
Junior Member
since 2009-11-01
Posts 29
Vancouver Canada
2 posted 2009-11-01 01:18 PM


Thanks for the kind words Mysteria.. I'm more than happy to critique the pieces I read. It always gives me great pleasure to communicate compassion and tolerance with others Peace Kosmic888

'we are all connected by strings of light'

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
3 posted 2009-11-01 02:48 PM


"Led by the rhythm of a sacred verse
Penned in the shadow of a rose"

Love that line, it is fragrant and melodic.
Weclome to Pips!

martiniat8
Senior Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 897
Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic
4 posted 2009-11-01 02:48 PM


lovely write! welcome to Pip!
rachaelfuchsberger
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609
Las Vegas, NV
5 posted 2009-11-01 02:53 PM


Welcome to PiP. An excellent introductory piece!

Goddess grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
6 posted 2009-11-01 03:46 PM


Welcome to Passions! *S* I hope you enjoy it here.

One thing to note, though... when you reply to a poem, there is a line right above the response box indicating if that poet encourages constructive critiques. The absence of that statement means the poet does not wish to be critiqued and their choice should be respected.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2009-11-01 05:54 PM


I love honeysuckle! Beautiful poem here. Makes me want to snuggle with my hubby.

Welcome to PIP.

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
8 posted 2009-11-02 04:23 AM


Very beautiful first entry! Elegant and romantic in my perception.

Welcome to Pip, dear Kosmic888!

Love,
Margherita

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