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Open Poetry #45
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Love, Sometimes
| Open Poetry #45 |
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Love, Sometimes |
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Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana 
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Just one more word One more breath One more dirge That I might cheat death Sometimes in dreaming Time stops streaming I must be dreaming These thoughts conceiving Just one more wish One more night One more kiss To set things right Missing the ghost of you again Here you come again Back to where we begin This night will never end Just one more time One more day One more night Before I throw it away Sometimes in trying We both are left dying I hear you crying And vainly keep trying Guilty of expressionless crimes Both of us, sometimes |
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| © Copyright 2009 Chalmette Guy - All Rights Reserved | |||
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Just one more wish One more night One more kiss To set things right What beautiful ache you've written! These lines seem more a viewing of heart-tears than of ink... A simple cry, a fantastic write! |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Sometimes in trying We both are left dying I hear you crying And vainly keep trying Guilty of expressionless crimes Both of us, sometimes Ouch! that hit me like a bad memory. Good job! You nailed it(me) Were you a fly on my wall? Nothing like conjuring up a little post traumatic stress. Words are amazing. Write on! |
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Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana |
I was taking dictation. Just kidding, thank you. |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
Guilty of expressionless crimes Both of us, sometimes __________ aren't we all guilty of something? enjoyed this jer  |
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Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana |
What are YOU guilty of brneyed...? |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
I think it depends on who you talk to  |
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dragngrl28 Junior Member
since 2009-10-12
Posts 45Texas, USA |
I enjoyed reading and thought that the structure of the poem was well done. Reading the poem reminded of relationships where I knew it just wasn't to be but I tried to force it into being 'the right one'. |
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Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana |
You, dragngrl, read this perfectly right. Thank you for stopping by to look. |
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