Open Poetry #45 |
The Cows of Uganda - Regurgitated! |
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
WASHINGTON — One contributor to global warming — bigger than coal mines, landfills and sewage treatment plants — is being left out of efforts by the Obama administration and Democrats in the House of Representatives to limit greenhouse gas emissions. Cow burps. Belching from the nation's 170 million cattle, sheep and pigs produces about one-quarter of the methane released in the USA each year, according to the Environmental Protection Agency. That makes the hoofed critters the largest source of the heat-trapping gas. That article, which came out today, causes me to repost a poem of mine from nine years ago! Some things never change! MIAMI HERALD - AUGUST 17, 2000 Canada's largest private electric company, TransAlta, signed a multi- million-dollar deal with Global Live- stock Group, a U.S. company,to pro- duce a feed supplement that will reduce cow flatulence in Uganda.If successful,a TransAlta spokesman said, the decrease in methane gas - a leading cause of global warming - caused by cows farting and burping will be equivalent to 30 million tons of carbon dioxide.................... The Cows of Uganda TransAlta to the rescue, boys! They're here to save the day By stopping global warming in A very special way. It's those Uganda cows, you see Creating havoc there By flatulating wildly Screwing up the ozone layer!!! That methane gas they're letting out Is damaging the earth. I always knew Uganda cows Had questionable worth! But flatulation is a way Of "easing" things a bit Like a teapot does whenever It lets steam come out of it. So, without the opportunity Of lightening their load It seems to me Uganda cows Could very well explode! "Hey, Maude! My gawd, girl...look at that! A flying bovine part! Must be those danged Uganda cows That ain't allowed to fart!!" No need to go down to the store.. Just look up at the sky Before long, some Uganda cow part May come flying by! But let's suppose, for argument, That it does work - what then? What if those same dumb scientists Extend the plan - to men??? Life, as we know it to exist, Would simply cease to be If we were not allowed to let One fly occasionally. Some men make it a science.... It's almost Olympic sport! Men pride themselves in knowing They produce a loud retort. Or what about the hunters In the gray of early dawn Who, after 15 cups, can feel A good one coming on? It's a call to Mother Nature As it shatters dawn to bits! (It also comes in handy If your duck call's on the fritz.) I'm not for global warming Or the problems it may bring But I curse those darned Uganda cows For starting this whole thing!!! |
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© Copyright 2009 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Too funny! What would men do without flatulence? I don't think it's possible for them to be without gas. A |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
You took Uganda cows as an example, I read an article about Australian sheep who are accused of the same bad habits... or should we say "healthy habits". So I guess it's a worldwide problem. Maybe vegetal carbon can contribute to reduce the emissions? Poor cows and sheep and ... ladies and gentlemen! Tragicomic. Love, Margherita |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
ROFL... I'm glad you found reason to post this once again! *S* If the regulations ever extend to men... I'm nominating my brother-in-law for all test procedures. LOL |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
ROFL ... I found you and your cows! Thank you for the smiles this morning Michael, lol. You are simply story-telling at it's best and I loved every line of this! A good grin to start the day. Best wishes and hugs, /Kit |
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Oklahoma Rose Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586Oklahoma USA |
LOL! You are the best. I enjoyed this, as always. Hope you are doing good. |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
love this deer |
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priyanka Member
since 2009-06-15
Posts 216india |
hahaha!! Lmao! |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
. Mike Fewer cows, more beans! Uh . . . wait a minute . . . I’ll get back to you . |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Balladeer and his hot air.... |
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