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Open Poetry #45
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Paul Wilson
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0 posted 2009-08-24 02:42 PM


Before The Dawn
By Paul Wilson

( Written for Someone Special To Me )

Darkness surrounds me
like a cocoon
protecting me or
so it seems
to my mind

Where is the light
that I use to know
so well
it’s embrace escapes me
and leaves me cold

Locked in the
recesses
of my soul somewhere
feelings… deep feelings
I can’t explain

Loneliness
a coat I wear
with regret
tomorrow would be
better off without me

Ringing of phone
breaks the silence
of this living hell
ignore it my mind says
talking unable to comprehend

Into the darkness
of my mind I retreat
finding comfort
from the world
but not the pain

Yes
the pain…the pain
that’s why I’m here
relief never comes
as tears fall again

Memories of a better life
gone forever…

(maybe not)

consumed by darkness
and pain
but yet I fight…fight
with all my heart
to win this battle



~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul


[This message has been edited by Paul Wilson (08-24-2009 10:05 PM).]

© Copyright 2009 Paul D. Wilson - All Rights Reserved
Oklahoma Rose
Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586
Oklahoma USA
1 posted 2009-08-24 05:13 PM


I know how you feel, Paul. Loneliness is an awful feeling to have. Hang in there, you'll make it.
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
2 posted 2009-08-24 05:55 PM


Fortunately, I've never personally sunk that low, but I have witnessed the fall of others into that dark, lonely abyss full of pain and sorrow ~ and you nailed it, Paul. You expressed that kind of anguish and despair, very well. May the person who inspired this write, come back into the light and cast out all brooding darkness.

A fine, empathetic piece of writing.


Linda

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
3 posted 2009-08-25 08:13 AM


Paul, I don't know if aging has something to do with these feelings or not~~

but I sometimes find myself reflecting  and wondering if things were different or had remained the way they once were when I felt  it was happier and easier times, would the future have turned out to be any different as far as todays' feelings and thoughts.

Guess we can't predict  how we will feel as time marches on.

for a thoughtful write.

M

Jeffrey Carter
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since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367
State of constant confusion!
4 posted 2009-08-25 09:22 AM


Hi Paul, this reminded me of a poem I wrote a few years ago. Believe me I know this pain all too well, but take solice in the fact that it WILL get better.... btw, here's the poem I was referring to...

Surviving Yet Not Living

Lost, alone and scared
Somewhere in this night
Blinded by a love once held
No switch to trip the light
I shiver at the sound
Of wolves howling at the sky
Calling as if beckoning me
To kiss this life good-bye
I scream out at the silence
To chase the sound away
But the wolves just keep howling
Asking me to come out and play

Hello!, Hello!, Hello!
Someone!, Someone!, Someone!
The echo is all I here
Bouncing back and forth
Blackness crashing all around
In the silence of these halls
Nothing, do my hands caress
As I reach out to find a wall
Not a glimmer of hope do I foresee
Within this hallowed tomb
Not living, just surviving
My mind in a padded room

Seeking for the shelter
Of her memory's loving arms
A safe harbour in this journey
To keep me from all harm
Yet, nothing but blackness
Do these eyes ever see
Seeking, finding nothing
But this perverted misery
No chance to find myself
Without this heartache's spell
Yet, not daring to fold the cards
Of which this life has dealt

by:  Jeffrey Carter



Paul Wilson
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5 posted 2009-08-25 10:57 AM


Oklahoma Rose...Thanks for caring. This was written as a reflection of how someone very dear to me feels and what she goes thru everyday. I really appreciate the reply...Paul

Linda...I hope you are right and she does find the strength and light needed to come out of this dark lonesome place she is in. Next to my wife she is the single most important person in my life. Thanks so much for caring and for your reply...Paul

Maureen...I don't think aging has anything to do with it, it's more of a cronic pain she suffers from, never easing up enough for her to say she had a good day, all of her days are terrible and she has to deal with all the other things the pain brings along for the ride. Thanks for caring...Paul

Jeffery...That is a touching poem you wrote. I definately see the simularities.
Cronic pain, depression & anxiety can really destroy a person, and make them want to check out of this world. It is a constant battle for her as well as myself and my wife just trying to keep her upbeat and fighting, till hopefully the pain goes away...Paul

~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
6 posted 2009-08-25 06:09 PM


quote:
maybe not


This spark of hope sounds so good and makes it seem possible to get out of darkness.

Very sensitive write, dear Paul.


Love,
Margherita

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
7 posted 2009-08-25 06:21 PM


Paul - my friend, you're feelings come out totally in this writing, so sadly they do, but with hope. Dang, I really felt this writing. Email me if you would like to put your words to graphics...

BC

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
8 posted 2009-08-25 08:01 PM


Fine writing...James
Toccatta
Junior Member
since 2009-07-08
Posts 26

9 posted 2009-08-25 08:21 PM


Your constructive critique box says you're just learning.  It doesn't sound it to me!
I like your poem.

Paul Wilson
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10 posted 2009-08-26 06:39 AM


Margherita...We can only HOPE things get better and she is able to have the pain free life she deserves. Thanks so much for caring...Paul

Bill...Sorry if I hit a tender spot in you. Sometimes I just have to get my feelings out in order to continue to be strong and to cope with the pain and hurt my loved ones feel. I may take you up on the graphics.Thanks for the offer and reply...Paul

James...Thank you sir, I really appreciate your reply...Paul

Toccatta...So very glad you liked this. I really do feel like I am still learning, but I do know more today than I did when I put that comment in my critique box. Maybe its time to change it to something else...Paul

~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul

ESHA SEN GUPTA
Member
since 2009-09-01
Posts 108
Maharashtra,India
11 posted 2009-09-25 09:51 PM


Touching,I liked it very much.

Love Esha


Paul Wilson
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12 posted 2009-09-25 11:16 PM


ESHA...Thanks very much for reading and for your reply...Paul

~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
13 posted 2009-09-26 04:06 PM


Paul - my friend this is one sad writing, however, it has to be way up there as one of your best writings...

BC

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
14 posted 2009-09-26 06:47 PM


Paul, You are on of the best writers when it comes to writing bare feelings. I always read you when you post. And I remember it is about some one else. You also have a caring soul.
latearrival.

meljo
Junior Member
since 2009-09-24
Posts 10
CA, USA
15 posted 2009-09-27 02:56 AM


Well written. Some times I wonder, are we different from the rest? Some times, I wish that I don't feel as much.
Paul Wilson
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16 posted 2009-09-27 04:56 AM


Bill...Thanks again my friend for your kind words. I wrote an extended version of this but promised I would not post it. Your replies are always a welcomed comfort...Paul

latearrival...That is a mighty nice compliment you have given me. I love to put myself in the place of others and write what they feel and go thru.A very special person to me said the same thing, she doesn't understand how I can get into other peoples minds and souls and write what I do, but somehow it just happens. Thanks for the nice reply...Paul

Meljo... Thank you so much for taking time to read and reply, it means a great deal too me...Paul

~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul

larzana
Member
since 2009-09-17
Posts 55

17 posted 2009-09-27 02:04 PM


Very sad, rings true for my own feelings.
Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
18 posted 2009-09-30 11:54 AM


Very sad and touching poem.
                          Ida

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
19 posted 2009-09-30 07:15 PM


the battle, yes...

well, you already know

Paul Wilson
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20 posted 2009-09-30 08:14 PM


larzana...Hope all is well with you. It's not me thats hurting, but someone very special too me, so I feel their pain just like they do but mine is emotional pain. Thanks for the read & reply and I hope things get better for you...Paul

Marchmadness...Ida I really appreciate your caring thoughts. Your reply means alot to me...Paul

Dixie...Thanks. Words cannot begin to say how I feel, cause we both have known the struggles and fighting battles throughout our lives. Thanks so very much...Paul
I will send you an e mail about another subject if you don't mind

~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul

LindsayP
Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria
21 posted 2009-09-30 10:03 PM



I am very sorry to hear of your depression
Paul but hang in there, for I too saw that spark of hope. Sit down in front of your PC
and type out all the good things you have in your life and in another column type the things that cause concern. I'm sure the good column will far outweigh the bad.
Good luck to you my friend for you have a lot of people pulling for you including me.

Lindsay

Paul Wilson
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22 posted 2009-10-01 04:26 AM


Lindsay...Thanks for your concern, but I am not depressed, I am writing about someone very close to me that has cronic pain and anxiety attacks. I really do thank you thou for caring and your well wishes...Paul

~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul

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